The Quest

0 Conversations

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. Characters are intended to be amusing caricatures of their h2g2 counterparts, and the author means no offense in the use of researchers' names and characters. I don't even portray sea accurately. In short, please do not be offended. Your inclusion in the story simply means that I like you, so be flattered!


The evening did not go well. The wind howled, the rain poured in buckets and lightning flashed. Yo sulked, sea went off in search of alcohol and Marv, Gw7en and Affy played strip go fish. Yo watched the rain through the window and frowned. He put his hands on either side of the window and leaned his forehead against the window pane, squinting into the storm. He peered into the rain for a minute, then stood up and shook his head. The frown disappeared from his face. He glanced back at the window and was startled to see a face staring back at him through the glass.


Yo jumped backwards, tripping over a footstool and knocking over the card table that Marv, Gw7en and Affy had been playing at. They started to yell at him, but saw the person at the window and scrambled for their clothes.

'Who is that?!'

Gw7en hissed.

'Friend of yours, Yo?'

Marv sounded amused.

Yo shook his head.

'I have no idea. Never seen him before. Scared the pants off me, though.'

'Well, invite the poor lad in,'

said sea, appearing in the door with a glass of whisky in her hand.

'He'll catch his death out there in the cold.'

The stranger sat on the sofa, dripping all over the place. sea tried to take his cloak, but he refused to part with it. He did, however, partake in a drink. The adventurers tried to get information out of him, but he said nothing until he finished his drink. Then he began to speak.

'My name is Tuc. I am... I was a warrior in the Catzion Wars... I fought for the Dogzions. I have seen a great many things in my time, but what I saw in this field last night, before you arrived, was the strangest thing I have ever seen, and it cost me my position in the war. No one believed me when I told them who I had seen, so they kicked me out of the army. I will tell you what I saw, because you will believe me.'

'I was lying in wait for Catzion warriors to cross the field, as Dogzion HQ had heard they would be doing last night. But instead of seeing Catzions, there was only a man in a long cloak. He walked into the middle of the field and knelt down for a bit, and then the ground began to shake. I stood up to get a better look at what was happening, and before my very eyes, something started to rise up out of the ground! I could barely keep my feet; the ground was shaking like I'd never felt before. The thing that rose up out of the ground looked like a big computer. The man approached it and touched a few buttons, and the whole field glowed. I was fascinated, so I followed the man when he left the field and the computer sunk back down below the dirt.'

The adventurers were on the edges of their respective seats.

'Did you get a look at the man?'

sea had to know.


said Tuc.

'Well?! Did you recognize him?'


said Tuc.


All five adventurers screamed at once.

'Douglas Adams.'

said Tuc, putting down his glass and walking out the door.

The other four adventurers turned to look at Yo, who looked triumphant. They all looked out the door, which had been left open after Tuc's exit.

The rain continued to pour, and lighting flashed.

This week's Quest is dedicated to Tuc Fortuneswall. Tuc died in a motorcycle accident this week, and my deepest sympathies and sincerest condolences go out to his sister Dax and all of his family and friends. We'll miss you, Tuc.

The Quest Collection


02.05.02 Front Page

Back Issue Page

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more