The Quest

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. Characters are intended to be amusing caricatures of their h2g2 counterparts, and the author means no offense in the use of researchers' names and characters. I don't even portray sea accurately. In short, please do not be offended. Your inclusion in the story simply means that I like you, so be flattered!


Gw7en, Marv and Affy were hard at work. They had set up camp and were in the middle of plotting out a map of the field. Gw7en and Affy were taking readings in a grid pattern while Marv compiled them to make a map of the ground beneath the field.

'Marv, this is strange,'
said Gw7en through the two-way radio.

'I'm getting metal readings 10 feet below the surface.'

Marv's voice boomed through the radio.

'Maybe that is what we're looking for.'

'Universal Positioning coordinates,'
said Affy.

'I hope we're getting close. It looks as though it's going to rain.'
The sky had grown dark, and the wind had acquired an icy edge.

'Maybe we ought to call it a day,'
Gw7en replied, shivering.

The radio clicked to life.

'Hey, Gw7en?'
Marv sounded nervous.

'The weather satellite is showing some nasty storms on their way here... I think you two should head on back.'

replied Gw7en, relieved.

'Let's go before we get too wet, Affy.'

thought sea, disoriented. Something outside was making a terrible noise that reverberated around her head. She sat up, groaned, and abruptly wondered why she was lying on something soft instead of standing on the doorstep like she should be. It took her a moment to decide whether or not it was a good idea to open her eyes. She opened one eye just a bit, glanced around quickly, and close it again. Her brain wondered why everything appeared to be yellow. sea frowned, but decided that to have everything look puce would be much worse, so she opened her eyes.

She appeared to be in a living room of some sort. And yes, her initial impression was correct - everything was yellow. sea tried to stand up and immediately regretted it. She groaned and sat back down, rubbing her forehead. She then leaped behind the sofa as the door banged open and someone came through.

'It's all right, dear,'
said the woman. She was carrying a cup of tea.

'You fainted on the doorstep when I opened the door, so we brought you in here to lie down. The shock of seeing him is usually too much for people to handle.'

'Seeing who?'
sea asked, coming around the sofa to take the teacup from her. She took a sip. It was too hot.

The woman frowned.

'Why, Him, of course. Don't you remember?'

sea put down the teacup and opened her mouth to answer, but the door opened again and she leaped behind the sofa again.

'Wow, I rarely ever have THAT effect on women,'
Yo quipped. sea glared at him and came back around the sofa to sit down.

'What happened? Where were you?'
asked sea, irritated.

'We can discuss this later. We've got to be going,'
Yo took sea's hand and led her toward the door.

'Thank you for your hospitality, and your time.'
He dragged the protesting sea out the door.

'Where in the heck did this storm come from?'
Marv growled.

'And where are sea and YO? Those two had better not have run off-'

'I assure you, we did not,'
Marv blushed profusely as sea came in the door.

'Though I cannot be completely sure. Tell me what happened, Yo.'

Yo looked at her.

'You know, I think it bothers you not to know. I should keep stalling,'
he teased, grinning. sea scowled at him.

'All right, fine. Mrs. Adams opened the door and you fainted. We thought it was probably because you caught sight of her husband behind her. You've been under a lot of stress lately...'
Yo trailed off.

sea appeared to be pondering his statement.

'Did you say Mrs. Adams?'

Yo nodded.

'Not Mrs. Douglas Adams.'

Yo nodded again.

'And you said her husband was standing behind her.'

Yo was beginning to resemble one of those bobbly-head chihuahuas people put in their cars.

'That's really not funny, Yo. Douglas Adams is...'

'I thought so too, but I swear, he was standing there!'
Yo replied, excited.

Marv and Gw7en looked at one another. Affy rolled his eyes.

'Did you two drop by a bar before you went to the house?'
he asked, his voice dripping sarcasm.

Yo glared at him.

'I can't believe no one believes me. It really was DNA!'

Will anyone believe Yo? Did he and sea really see DNA, or is Yo just pulling sea's leg? Find out next week!

The Quest Collection


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