h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Dr. Picardo] "I'm all right in that area, but here's something,"

The android produces a tattered, bloodstained lab coat, and begins draping it over her with one arm while taking readings.

[Dr. Picardo] "Seems she still has some implants. One piece of tech is controlling her glandular system - she's pumping out her own natural sedative. Very strong stuff. I need to take it out."

And with that, he gets to work.

He steps back while the surgical bed begins to power up. Rubber-and-duralium bands come out, fastening securely at crucial body points, capable of restraining the most disagreeable of patients. Ultraviolet light and jets of vaporous disinfectant clean her thoroughly, with blasts of shaped air removing any dust and moisture. The bed opens at the bottom, flips over, and a fitting synthetic blanket covers the subject. Dr. Picardo steps forward now, lab coat gone, completely sterilized from the handheld he now replaces in its case.

One hand reaches and fires a steady laser beam that cuts through the insulating blanket, removing a perfect circle of material that he lifts away and throws into the recycler. Her neck is now exposed.

To reassure the overlooking Wesker, he takes a glance at the readouts. Electrocardiogram, sonorespiratory, brain wave, and auranic. All good and green.

"Supportive field, begin."

A low thrum signals the use of the hypermagnetic field. A current of shaped energy that completely overlays the figure on the operating harness, reinforcing bone, muscle, and skin, forming a guiding lattice for any regenerative work.

Picardo's steel-and-ivory hands begin humming, vibrating, going hypersonic, aiming for a particular frequency. Gently he touches a figure to the girl's smooth skin. It slips in with no resistance. Tissue at the contact surface softens, liquefies, as the cells temporarily lose their cohesiveness with each other.

With an android's calculated slowness he slowly, ever so slowly reaches deeper and deeper into the girl's neck, tuning on-site to pass through bone and nerve tissue, making for the implant revealed in the scans. He makes contact, and begins closing his delicate fingers.

"Computer," he says (for Wesker's benefit, again. He IS talking to himself.) "Prepare to surrogate vital functions." And he begins to withdraw his hand.

After many minutes, it emerges again, clenched.

"Take a look," he says to Wesker. He moves his hand to show the evil black shell-like implant.

"Nasty, huh? I want to look at this. Interesting tech."

*Wesker examines the object.*
[Wesker] Hmm... normally a Tengu would have an implant there... I have one to. It emits a special chemical that eases control of the subject. But this one's making sedatives? Let me have that...
*Wesker attaches a plug onto the base of the implant, and attaches it to his Neuro-Interface port at the base of his skull.*
[Wesker] Strange... It's emitting the control serum... it appears that it only creates the sedative when not in contact with a Scarab.
*The girl begins to stirr.*
[Wesker] She'll be awake soon. I've got a lot of questions that need answering... Oh, and you can keep that implant.

"Actually," Dr. Picardo said, "it induces the host's own body to make sedative. I will reverse-engineer it for our own use."

BOOM!

"What's that?"

*Wesker turns at the noise.*
[Wesker] What the hell was that!?
*A small air vent drops off, and the Scarab re-appears. It drops onto the host, and in a moment, re-assimilates her.*
[Epsilon] Hmm... Someone's removed an implant...
*There is a mechanical clicking noise.*
[Epsilon] Much better. Now, if there's nothing else, doctor...

[Dr. Picardo] (Warding Epsilon off with his arms) Nope. Absolutely nothing else. See ya.

*Epsilon walks away, headed for god knows where...*

The doors hiss closed. Dr. Picardo turns back to his console.

"Sure hope the captain knows what he's doing."

"All systems nominal," Dr. Picardo droned.