h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lights power on. Several dedicated monitors post second-to-second info on the various primary and auxiliary power plants on board. Power conduits of incredible capacity are imbedded in the walls. This close to the core, one can’t help imagining the awesome power throbbing through the shielded walls.

*Fester enters, leading about twenty Guard and ten Tengus to one of the side corridors.*
[Fester] Here! They're breaching here! This could be useful; it's away from major systems and we can form at least two more lines of defence. Hopefully they won't be needed.
*The men brace for action. All is quiet. There is a feeling that something is wrong. Surely the wall should be melting, or at least there should be some noise...
The exploding plasma-charges vapourise four defenders and the wall in one searing blast. Plasma-cannon fire follows, killing three more. Slowly, cautiously, the defenders return fire, until the corridor is filled with the sounds of bullets and las-fire hitting, pinging and ricocheting off of metallic bodies. The killing begins...*

All is firing as the Vpiers and conscipted Siid personnel fiercely resist the heavily armed boarding party.

Dr. Picardo bursts in suddenly, automatic laser gatlings mounted on both arms clearing a path through to his side of the firefight. He mows half a dozen down and then does a giant leap over a bulkhead and among Pestilence's people.
Good day, may I help you?

A ventilation grate busts down and Frank Regular lands among a cluster of boarders, who soon disintegrate in several booming shots. Frank ducks down and joins them as well.
'allo, mates.

*Fires three 'rupture rounds' down the hall, taking out two of the Minions.*
[Fester] They are tough. anything that can't prenetrate class 3 armour is next to useless!
*Pestilence mows down four more in a quick volley.*
[Fester] Or we could use an anti-tank weapon...
*The situation worsens. Men fall in droves, four move vapourising in a blast of plasma-fire. The wounded are serious, but few. The defence is crumbling...*

(thoroughly tending to the injured) There is a solution, though drastic. We can seal off Engineering, and then use the directional thruster systems, the plasma conduits, to flood the area with star-hot fire. Engineering is built to handle plamsa breaches and will not be damaged, though any intruders will certainly be killed. To do that, you must be clear of this area. You need a way out.
The vents? I came in through there. Seems the best way.

[Fester] Very well. But someone will have to remain to make sure they don't break through. I will stay. Everyone! Fall back! Now!
*Recovers an abandoned Boltgun and opens fire.*

They pile out, helping each other up into the vent system as Dr. Picardo, Frank Regular, and Fester pour fire down the hall at the enemy. The droid's twin rotating laser barrels cull and blast away precisely, Fester fanning his boltgun while Regular's huge quatro-barreled Super Shotgun boom loud enough for the rest of them.

Finally they hear the all-clear, and Regular is the reluctant first man to leave. He keys from his personal comm the plasma-flushing operation and sets it for thirty seconds. He tells it to the remaining two.

(Dropping the holographic pretense) Mr. Pestilence, you must go. I am a droid, and I was built along with this ship. I too will withstand a drive torch vent.

9..8..7

[Pestilence] I'm out! Let's vape 'em!
6...5...4...3...2...1...
*Plasma fire pours through the bulkhead. The Minions slowly, until it touches off the Hammerhead's Plasma fuel, sparking off an internal explosion that blows out three decks worth of external plating. One breech secured.*
[Fester] If we have to do that every time then we're going to need a mobile plasma reactor...
[Pestilence] Or Plasma fuel...
[Fester] No. Plasma Fuel is basically hydrogen. It won't blow up easily.

the ship is light by a flame of its own making, an undirected, unshielded plasma plume that exploded out the lower area, blowing out the thin vent walls and for a moment, altering the course of the ship's movement like a directional thruster.

any and all intruders are instantly reduced to their basic elements and swept out to space.

the flam subsides, dies out, then the interior of Engineering is momentarily visible before Servodroids and nanomachines begin sealing up the breach. A lone medical droid stands resolute.

[Fester] Pestilence, you take over here, I'm going to the bridge. I'm... worried about Marshal...
[Pestilence] Understood, sir. OKAY!!! *everyone in engineering looks up at the noise.* I wanna' be told jes' what's happenin' down here! Are we safe yet!?

(Soulless metallic head swiveling to Pestilence's direction) We are. No if you'll excuse me, I will be recieving patients at the Sickbay.

[Pestilence] Gotcha'. Take care.

*The Epsilon Scarab drops from the air shaft, and connects itself to a terminal. It activates the system, and begins to read through some fascinating pieces of Earth literature...*

*A squad of Wesker's Tengu troops enter the room. They fan out, methodically checking all areas.*
[T-Cap] Looks clean... Still, guard the doors, and call for backup. This place is too big for just us to handle...

The specially trained Orc team scans the premises. A human addition, Fred Regular, in mussed and stained combat gear, levels his shotgun at a bank of consoles.

[Fred Regular] "It's over here."

*The Scarab shuffled a little. A computer monitor popped up the words "GOOD MORNING." An Orc tries to grab it, and wires shoot up its arm. Within moments, the Scarab has assimilated almost half the Orc.*
[Epsilon] Do not do that again.
*The Scarab releases the Orc, and shuffles off. A message is left displayed on the monitor.*
"TIME I HEADED BACK."

"This is Regular," he spoke into the comm. "Man down, target is mobile, believed to be headed for the Medilab. Orders?"

A pause.

"Stand down. Do not get between the Scarab and the Medilab."