h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Henrietta Lacks - A73039304
Author: Atticus101 - U4912495

Henrietta Lacks died of cancer in 1951, yet her cells live on in many medical laboratories around the world. Her cells have played an important part in developing many new medical treatments.

I think this article is excellent! It's both informative and balanced, I can't think of anything else at the moment.

....and it's a thumbs up from me as well

Thank you Zen and Lanzababy for your encouraging responses. I have to admit this was a difficult entry to write for a number of reasons, not least because its quite a complicated story. As you might imagine I re-wrote it a number of times before putting it up for peer review. I am still hoping for possible suggestions for improvement however, because it would be nice to get this particular entry just right.

I endorse all the comments I've read above . I'd forgotten the origin of the name 'HeLa'!

I think it would be worth expanding the title to say sth like, 'Henrietta Lacks - Originator of HeLa Cells' (although 'originator' isn't quite the rigght word. If I think of a better word I'll post it here, but either yourself oer s'one else will probably beat me to it )

'Henrietta Lacks - The Origin of HeLa Cells' ??

Fascinating topic, and well written up

My original title for the entry was 'Henrietta Lacks and HeLa Cells'. Perhaps something simple like that would be ok?

When deciding on a title I try to keep in mind what someone might type into a search engine to find it, so simple is usually best. More suggestions very welcome though.

I think lil's suggestion in #6 is good

Lil's suggestion it is then. The title has now been changed.

One little typo:

>>The name of Henrietta Lacks is is still relatively unknown<<

One 'is' too many

Well spotted Lil, I have read the entry quite a few times and didn't see that.

Fascinating article - I really like the way you weaved the story of Henrietta Lacks into a wider context, so it is extremely informative...

I've spotted a few very minor typos - the commas before brackets are not needed, and it should be 1950s in the first paragraph of the Conclusion.

Otherwise

Hi |SashaQ|

Pleased to meet you. I'm very pleased you like the entry. I enjoyed researching and writing it so its good to have some positive feedback.

Thanks for pointing out the typos, they are now no more.

Hi Atticus.

This is a good entry, well balanced between technical information and human interest. I guess that there won't be too many problems with the content. I've got a few minutes free, and I won't be around next week, so I'm going to be really pernickety on the punctuation.

In 1951 a 31 year old woman -->
In 1951, a 31-year-old woman

Henrietta Lack's case -- since her name is Lacks, this must be either:

Henrietta Lacks' case

or

Henrietta Lacks's case

Both are acceptable - some people prefer one and some the other.

that became an extraordinary death, has over the years -- I don't think that comma should be there

1st August 1920 -- h2g2 house style has this as 1 August, 1920

“different” and “deaf and dumb” -- please change the quotes around these to single straight quotes:
'different' and 'deaf and dumb'

Dr Gey, a medical researcher had been trying -- put a second comma after "researcher" to bracket the phrase "a medical researcher".

for twenty years --> for 20 years (house style)

from the name of their donor, Henrietta Lacks -- a donor is someone who gives something. Is it correct to use the word when the cells were taken without her knowledge?

On the 8th August --> On 8 August,

In the 1980's --> In the 1980s

Papillona Virus --> Papilloma Virus

"In 1955 they also lost their sister Elsie who died at the age of fifteen at the Crownsville Hospital. They also later learned she had been abused there and may have had holes drilled in her head as part of experiments4" -- these two sentences both have the word "also" in them, which sounds bad when you read it out. Leave out one of the alsos.

"not to suggest the Lacks were treated any differently " -- I think this should be "Lackses", but I know opinions differ on this one. I point it out in case you agree with me and it is a typo.

"were different than they are now" -- we're advised by the experts never to say "different than", but the alternative "different from" leads to a clumsy construction, so perhaps leave this one as it is.

standard practise --> standard practice (British English)

Mary Kubicek who first discovered HeLa cells survived outside of the body -- this would be clearer as:
Mary Kubicek who first discovered that HeLa cells survived outside of the body.

Yes Atticus, I echo all the above comments. This is a very worthy entry. Once you've dealt with the typos etc that Gnomon has pointed out, it will be in good shape. Well done

Hi Gnomon

Thanks for pointing out the errors in punctuation and a few other nit-pics.

I have made most of the corrections you suggested, although the one I left concerned the use of the word 'donor'. I gave some thought to this and realised that when a parasyte feeds off a host, the host is sometimes referred to as a donor. This suggests that to be a donor does not necassarily imply permission. Technically this may be wrong, so I remain open to further suggestions.

I do appreciate your input because some of your corrections were issues I was unsure of whilst writing the entry, especially the use of dates, and in a more general way, how to write out numbers. Its useful to know the house style is to use a numerical depiction rather than words. This confuses me sometimes because I believe the general rule is to use words for small numbers but to type out the numbers for larger figures. This can of course get messy when using numbers of different sizes.

I apologise for leaving it for a while to correct these errors, particularly as you won't be around this week. Hopefully you will be able to catch up soon.

Hi h5

Thanks for the thumbs up, and as for Gnomon, I apologise for not replying sooner.

This is looking more than ready

Yup, tis a little gem too.