JJ's Carmalised Movie Review

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Death to Smoochy

... Well I dunno how long it was but I know that I reeeeeally had to go to the restroom bad afterward, so let's chalk it up to pretty blooming long

Director: Danny DeVito

Cast: Edward Norton (Sheldon Mopes, the guy in the Smoochy suit), Robin Williams (Rainbow Randolph), Danny DeVito, Harvey Fierstein, Salma Hayek, Catherine Keener (Nora), Jon Stewart, Glen Cross, Pam Ferris, Michael Rispoli, Elvis Stojko, Danny Woodburn.

This comedy was... Well. It was...

Okay. Let me first off give you the synopsis. And since I can't think right now, this comes thanks to Greg Dean Schmitz at Upcomingmovies.com (my veritable film critic god. I worship at thy feet, oh great movie god.)

'This dark comedy, set in the dog-eat-dog world of children's television programming, is the tale of Smoochy, a lovable big purple rhinocerous character. The guy-in-the-big-rubber-suit, Sheldon Mopes (Norton), who plays Smoochy finds himself targeted for assassination by Rainbow Randolph (Williams), a former kids-show star who got fired for taking a bribe, and now pins his wrath on his successor. The spark that ignites Randolph's wrath is the revelation that Sheldon is now dating the second-in-command of children's programming, Nora (Keener), who is also Randolph's old flame. (Stewart plays Nora's boss, the executive who had Randolph fired.)'

I think that just about ties it up, yeah.

This movie was just plain yummy. I don't even know how to explain how good it was. you're just going to have to go and see it yourself. I just hope you don't have a particular problem with obscenities. They are all sorts of used in this film. Vagrantly. Flagrantly. I can't think (as I have said.)

So now that I cannot think of anything else to say I shall tell you a story about the experience I had actually going to /see/ Death to Smoochy.

  • It was a comedy.

  • It /is/ a comedy.

  • It ever shall be a comedy.

I was there with my sister Angel and my good h2g2 friend G7wen. We were laughing. There were people behind us laughing:

  • Because it was a comedy.

  • Because Edward Norton had just said something funny.

A woman in the front of the theatre turned around. She glared at us accusingly and shouted for us to shut up. A man behind us said 'Jees, it's funny, we're laughing'.

Nothing happened for a time, at least not until Edward Norton said something funny again. And we laughed.

This time the woman's husband was sent out to talk to the manager.

  • Because we were laughing.

  • Because, I shall remind you, it was a comedy.

  • And because Edward Norton had just said something funny.

The manager came in. I know the manager. He likes me. He occasionally, checks me out. He is a good guy. I go to the movies so bloomin' much that he recognises me as a regular. So he just shook his head after listening to everyone in the upper-seating (where I was,) and shook his head. He left.

Do you know why?

  • Because he realised that we were laughing because it was funny.

  • Because it was a comedy.

  • And because Edward Norton had said something funny.

So the moral of this story goes suchlike:


  1. Don't like to laugh.

  2. Don't like to hear other people laugh.

  3. Have a gigantic stick wedged in your bum.

All that aside, Death to Smoochy got itself five out of five little thingies. These thingies include a smiley - pirate, a smiley - sheep, a llama, even though there isn't yet a smiley for this, a smiley - spider, and a big huge plate of smiley - strawberry's... because it was that yummy.

Go see it. If not for yourself, for me. Laugh hard, laugh long, laugh loud. Make evil stick-in-the-bum people mad at you. Do it for the glory of the revolution. You know you want to..

Jedi Jade

11.04.02 Front Page

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