h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is all true!
However, the author seems to have overseen some important facts.

First, controllers have somehow developed tribal methods of hunting:
they move in small groups, usually of 2 or 3 controllers, but meeting
a group of 4 or 5 of them is not that uncommon. There is a notable relation between the weight of controllers and their quantity:
the more controllers you meet, the heavier they are. Be warned.
Of course, they don't get on the vehicle through the same door.
Their instincts dictate them to get on the vehicle from the opposite ends, and hunt until they meet in the middle.
A good chance for escape when travelling without a ticket is when
a controller from say the back of the vehicle needs help in the very second
you're about to get "controlled" - all controlling units immediately go to help him out, subsequentially leaving the other passengers alone.
Once the situation is resolved, they continue from the point they've left off in a timely fashion. This occurance of "backtracking" might
be pretty spectacular if meanwhile some passengers swap their places;
to the controller they appear to be "unchecked", and it tries to
check them again.

Second: it's all not that easy to be left alone by a controller
if you pretend to be deaf, dumb, blind, etc. Disabled people use
certain discounts; however, they have to have registered with the
Transport Company and to have their cards or whatever handy.

Third: if a passenger refuses to give the controller the desired
cash, it urges the passenger to come off the vehicle, often accompanied
by it's tribe members. Doing so is a BIG MISTAKE:
at the bus stop, the tribe surrounds all the hunted pray in a circle
and with high level of aggression and disrespect requires money.
Often, the victims just give up in order to be left alone.

Fourth: the best way to escape a controller (unless you're not local)
is to pretend you have no money. NOT AT ALL.
The controller's tax is usually 10 times the price of the ticket.
As you deny to have any money at all, they try lower and lower amounts,
at the and, they star to beg for that "quarter of beer". Hell, don't
give em a thing! As they see they can get nothing from you, they
go checking the other passengers and leave you alone.

Yeah, right try the "i don't have no money" stuff in London, than complain about Bulgaria!

why? what happens in London?


a really good entry i really enjoyed it.

You are right, but for the year You wrote it. Now it's some better - the "controllers" "work" alone or in pair, and they are less aggressive.
But at those years I had 5-6 very tough confrontations with them.

"True, funny, insightful ..." AND mabe a little bit outdated? (By about 4 years and 5 months.)