The Quest

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. Characters are intended to be amusing caricatures of their h2g2 counterparts, and the author means no offense in the use of researchers' names and characters. I don't even portray sea accurately. In short, please do not be offended. Your inclusion in the story simply means that I like you, so be flattered!


UH was angry, but so was sea. Again, she stormed right through ex-R, who started to yell at her, but then thought it better to let her go. sea's cell phone rang, and she grabbed it.

sea snarled.

'Hello, sea,'
said Yowuzupman.

'I seem to have gotten you at a bad time.'

sea took a deep breath and managed to contain her temper, because talking to Yo had a calming effect on her.

'Yes, but it's all right. What can I do for you?'

'I'd like to make some purchases. I've heard you have some interesting merchandise.'

'I'll be right over.'

The Porsche roared into Yo's driveway, kicking up gravel and raising a cloud of dust. sea saw half a dozen rifle barrels peering at her through the windows of the fortress, cleverly disguised as a run-down farmhouse. She waved a white flag over her head and hollered,

'Yo? It's me!'

Yo peered out the door, then whistled the all-clear signal and the barrels withdrew. He stepped out the door, dressed all in camouflage fatigues and wearing boots. He came down the stairs to her, took off his sunglasses, and gave her a big hug.

'Great to see you, sea. How are you?'

'I've been better,'
sea admitted, wrapping her arms around him and closing her eyes.

'How is the army training coming?'

'It's coming along well. Some of the men are having some difficulties, but I have a lot of very promising young recruits. We should be ready to make our assault on the Towers...'
Yo stopped as sea rested her head on his shoulder. It was not something she did often, and when she did it, it usually indicated trouble.

'sea? Are you all right?'

'I'm fine. What makes you ask?'

She was hiding something, and he knew it.

'Come on, sea. I know you. We were together for too long for me not to recognize your something-is-terribly-wrong signal.'

sea sighed. He knew her far too well. She took a deep breath and admitted in a low voice,

'Someone trashed my house and put two capybaras in my room last night.'

'My God. Are you all right?'
Yo knew the extent of her capybara phobia, and he hugged her tight.

'Yes. I ran out of there and haven't been back since. But anyway,'
sea said, drawing back and turning to the trunk of her car. She cleared her throat.

'This is business. I have something you'll like---'

'This doesn't have to be business,'
Yo interrupted, wrapping and arm around her and pulling her close.

'We can make it something else, like we were before.'

sea sighed and closed her eyes. How very nice it would be... She took a deep breath and continued.

'I have something you'll like, and I'll make you a real good deal on it.'

Yo let her go and stepped back. He looked at her for a moment, considering his plan of action, before his curiosity overcame him.

'Did you get the Tango 51, then?'

By this time, sea had unwrapped the beautiful rifle. She turned around and stepped out of Yo's way so he could see it. His eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning, and he grinned at her. He put his hands on the edge of the trunk and gazed at it, then turned to sea and hugged her close. He twirled her around until they were both dizzy and giggling madly.

And far off, through the scope on his rifle, UH watched their happiness. His anger burned, and he took careful aim to exact his vengeance.

Oh, no! Will this be the end of sea's adventure? Will the author kill off the love of sea's life? Or will she chicken out and kill off some sort of red-shirted extra? Find out next week!

The Quest Collection


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