UCONN (The University of Connecticut at Storrs,CT, USA)
Created | Updated May 2, 2002
Often ranked among the top public Universities in New England, UCONN is a medium sized school located in a small town consisting of a large farm. There are several key things to examine in order to get a clear picture of this confusing and often depressing school.
Climate
From late August until mid-September, the temperature ranges from "pleasantly warm" to "unbearably hot and humid." From late September until late March, an amazing phenomenon occurs. Each day, the weather outside is bitingly cold with wind strong enough to bring tears to one's eyes. Oftentimes, this is accompanied by snow and rain, both of which invariably blow down the neck of whatever clothing one wore specifically to prevent such an occurence. Then, between early April and the end of the term in mid-May, the weather turns pleasantly warm, with an 85% chance of hot, half-nude, sunbathing women. Curiously, the temparature within the Dormitories remains a constant "too hot for comfort" all year round.
Location and Activities
UCONN is found in Storrs, a subdivision of Mansfield, in North Central Connecticut, USA.Storrs/Mansfield is a hotbed for all activities commonly associated with college-aged students. The previous statement is a lie. There are approximately five bars, two convenience stores, and about five sit-down restaurants within walking distance. Aside from these few diversions, there is absolutely nothing to do. Most students keep active by working out their arm muscles lifting beer bottles and playing beer pong. Another popular activity is getting violently ill from dorm food. These diversions, while tempting, are the main reason why around 25% of the students leave campus, 73% of students get absolutely plastered, and the remaining 2% of us sit on computers and criticize the other 98% of the student body on any given weekend.
Student Body and Residential Life
The student body of UCONN is amazingly diverse. However, each dormitory manages to have certain unifying tendencies which are worth noting in any study of the University. A brief synopsis follows.
***As of Fall semester 2002, North AND Towers will join Northwest as alcohol-free areas. Therefore, it follows that any parties supposedly taking place in these dorms AFTER fall 2002 must only be flashbacks to previous parties, or vicious, vicious lies.
There are two other recently constructed non-regular Residence halls, being the Hilltop Suites and Hilltop Apartments. However, these places have yet to develop any significant culture of their own, aside from being easy targets for thieves.
Dining Hall Food, or Where NOT to Eat at UCONN
There is a prevailing opinion among college students that the food at UCONN is "decent" in relation to that of other Universities in America. If this is the case, it becomes almost challenging to consider what "poor" dining hall food must be like. At UCONN, there are eight main dining halls, and several smaller ones in the Towers complex. No matter what any student may say, there is very little that may be considered suitable for consumption at any of these. Six of the eight dining halls, as well as the Towers cafés are on a rotating meal plan, with each meal coming up once every four weeks. While it is said that the diversity and range of cuisine presented in these meals is intended to promote healthy eating habits and proper nutrition, the only thing actually promoted is indigestion. For this reason, do not eat at any dining hall not called South or Northwest. South and Northwest are the best(using the term loosely) dining halls on campus. They offer a larger range of rotating meals, but also have staple foods such as French Fries, Grilled Cheese, Deli sandwiches, and Hamburgers available at every meal. While these may not be the "healthiest" choices, they are certainly the only ones worth the risk of ingesting. If money is not an object, it is best to wait until night and order food from one of the several restaurants that will deliver food directly to any dorm.
Academics
Offering innumerable schools and fields of study, as well as the opportunity to design an individualized major, UCONN is an excellent educational institution. Unfortunately, the majority of the population is too drunk or too depressed most of the time to take full advantage of these services. Most of the academic buildings are old and in a state of disrepair. However, wealthy contributors have allowed certain schools/colleges to have better facilities. These include the Schools of Engineering and Business, the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, and Chemistry.
A massive third Engineering building is in progress in the dead center of campus at the moment. A popular myth is that several students have fallen into the digging surrounding ths building, and have yet to be heard from since.The new Business building was completed this semester, and is an amazingly complicated, yet horribly unattractive, building. The Chemistry department was given a new building two years ago. This building is large and reminiscent of Gotham City. Supposedly, it was constructed too close to a manmade lake, and is slowly sinking into said lake. Lastly, the former Chemistry building was redone and made into the new home of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. This building was given a shiny new interior, and houses two of the steepest lecture halls on campus. Although four floors are listed, there are two additional, unacknowledged floors above the fourth. It is my experience that these extra floors are terrifying.
Athletics, or Husky Pride
The team mascot of the University of Connecticut is Jonathan, the Husky. For the most part, UCONN has decent athletic prowess, with a few exceptions. Football here is considered a joke, and one in poor taste at best. Baseball/Softball and Men's/women's Hockey are decent, and have had some moderately successful seasons. Track and Field is largely successful, and it is certain that all of the other sports that weren't researched are also OK. The most outstanding teams are the Men's and Women's basketball and Soccer teams. The soccer teams have been among the most successful in the nation over the last few years, garnering Championships and awards all the way. The Men's Basketball team is consistantly nationally regarded, and has a loyal and rabid following. The Women's Basketball Team is THE program in Women's Collegiate basketball, and this claim is backed up by a legion of old people, middle aged women, and students. The Lady Huskies team is a mighty behemoth and shows no signs of stopping or taking any prisoners in the near future. A degree of tolerance is practiced for students who are not fans of most teams. However, it is nearly unacceptable to be apathetic about the Basketball programs. By the time a student leaves UCONN, they will have had the Husky Fight Song permanently stuck in their brain, and they will be forced to bleed Husky blue, even if only via transfusion.
In Conclusion...
This entry provides a fair and (mostly) accurate picture of The University of Connecticut. Any further research can be done at the UCONN website. If you like a boring place where all there is to do is abuse alcohol and watch cattle, then this is the place for you. If you can tolerate boredom and want a good, relatively inexpensive education, you might want to consider coming here. If you dislike drinking, drugs, bordom, and intolerably cold winds, research another school. Now.