h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: When Use a Fretless Bass? - A702352
Author: $t®î?€r †hé 뢩èñtrîç (ACE, Scout) - U187148

I'm not quite sure how well this entry fits together, and how well it works. I had some trouble describing alot of it. Basically, I need the opinions and reactions of people who don't already know what I'm talking about. Thanks!

Hi Strider! This is an interesting entry. It needs a little more work, but not a huge amount.

To start off, let me say I have no idea what instrument you are talking about. In your introduction, in the second paragraph, you talk about the difference between a fretted bass and a fretless. You describe one as being like a guitar and the other like a stand-up bass. Is the "fretted bass" a bass guitar and the "fretless bass" a large cello-like instrument also known as a double bass, or is it a different type of guitar? You'll have to rewrite slightly to make it clearer. If you are talking about two different types of guitar, say so.

Other than that, the main problem is a lack of headings. At the moment you have only one, and it is not very helpful. Putting headings in really helps the reader, but it will also help you. I suggest that you put in at least "Description of Instruments", "Advantages of the Fretted Bass", "Advantages of the Fretless Bass" and "Conclusion". Once you have done that, check the content of each section to see is it in the right section. If not, move it into the right section. If it doesn't fit anywhere, make a new section. This will sort out the text and make it much clearer.

Good work!

Hi Gnomen! Thanks for writing!

I've tried to clear up the differences between the Fretted and Fretless. I've also added links, which I think will help clarify alot of question people could have about this, along with putting the entry into context. Added headers as well. What do you think?

Very nice. You just keep spitting them out, don't you? A few points:

* 2nd and last links: put the punctuation outside the tags. If you don't put spaces next to the closing tags, there won't be a space.

Actually, I have to go. I'll finish the list from home.

-Spike A.

Done and awaiting further instructions.

Don't worry, I'm back! Sorry, I fell . This will actually be easier in a paragraph:

First (or next), the Fretted Advantages section seems more like the disadvantages of a fretless. You could just change the header, but I'd suggest contrasting each point against fretless with a corresponding point for fretted. The other problem with the Fretted Advantages section is that oce you get to Fretless Advantages, you seem to have run out of things to say . Let's see, nothing else right now, really, except two more puntuation notes. Double-quotes should be single and the other punctuation should go outside them (unless the punctuation is actually part of the enclosed portion, which it isn't here).

-Spike A.

BTW, that's "once you get". Took me a bit to figure it out.

-Spike A.

What's "once you get"?

I've changed the Fretted Advantages section... is that any better, or is it worse?

Well, other than the tonal differences, which have their own section, there really is only one advantage to the fretless bass.

I was just correcting my previous posting.

Fretted Advantages: Much better. I'd take out the 'However's (plural), though; it sounds a bit more straightforward without them. Also, I wouldn't use 'simply placed directly behind the frets'. Don't explain where the finger is, explain where the string stops vibrating, since that's the real difference. Also, I would change '...metal fret, requiring far less pressure and effort than is needed on a fretless.' to simply '...metal fret, far less than is needed on a fretless.'

You use 'vastly' at least twice; consider finding another word not to be 'very'.

Nothing else yet.

-Spike A.

Oh, and I'd put a comma after 'Consequently'. Not syntax, just style, but I think it will flow better.

-Spike A.

That looks much better now. I see that it is bass guitars you are talking about. I thought it might be, but the previous version really looked like the fretless was a type of double bass.

The following in your introduction looks strange: "and hopefully emerge with at least confusion, if not clarity". I thought the purpose of guide entries was to reduce the confusion, rather than provide it! Do you really mean to say what you said here?

I think the word "frequency" looks out of place in the advantages of fretless section. Perhaps you should use pitch instead. YOu normally only talk about frequency when discussing the physics of sound. Pitch is the normal music word.

Other than that, this is great. It is ready to be submit to Peer Review, if that's what you want to do.

It is what I meant. Just a little silly cleverism to put down my own work. If people in PR disagree with it, I'll take it out. Other than that, changes made, and it's going to PR. Thanks Spike and Gnomen (and Roo, if you're around)!