h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Three of the web's most wanted criminals have kidnapped Peta after insidiously plying her with beer to break her resistance. Officials in contact with the dastardly trio have determined that Peta is still alive, though *gulp* she has been repeatedly slapped with a wet towel. Negotiations are proceeding, though to date the perpetrators refuse to settle for anything less than genuine h2g2 T-shirts. Any information leading to the arrest of these cyberterrorists will be rewarded generously with , and a heartfelt from the stricken staff of h2g2.

a called Ben

... and then there's *this* angle:


VICHY REDUX!
SBVM Mole revealed!

Our hidden belly-button-cam catches the notorious collaborator Peta passing on top-secret community information to the ringleaders of the 'Small But Vocal Minority' - soon to re-name themselves the 'Small But Well-Informed Minority' - confirming once and for all the suspected TPTB-SBVM pipeline. Film at eleven.



-77

Recent broadcasts exposing Peta's status as a double agent have drastically altered her future options. There have been unconfirmed rumors that she is currently in contact with the witness protection program and will be forced to change her identity and move to an unitalicized part of the universe. Our sources also claim that she has been offered millions to author a steamy kiss-and-tell-all novel about what really goes on behind the scenes.

We'll have the local weather report next, after a brief word from our sponsor....

Deity's mother voted best slogan writer in recent web competition.

MoG, (U150392), creator of the famous Cosmicpolitan and mother of the Creator himself, said 'I saw the photograph of Peta's TiTs and divine inspiration just struck'. When asked what she would do with the t-shirt if she won it, she said: 'it would be very special to me, and I would treasure it from here to eternity.'

And now our very own Jim Lynn with the traffic reports...

http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/britta_mog/lst?.dir=/ (Chinese New Year section, page 9)

Shocking photo exposes Mark Moxon in a flagrant abuse of power. His lawers have issued this statement:

"The representations given of Moxon are not very consistent: for on the one hand his reign is said to have been the golden age of innocence and purity, and on the other he is described as a monster who devoured his children."

When asked why he did it, Mr. Moxon answered, "History repeats itself, you know. These extensive groves were once inhabited by fauns and nymphs, and a rude race of researchers who sprang from the trees themselves, and had neither laws nor social culture. They knew not how to yoke their tongues nor provide from present abundance for future want; but browsed like beasts upon the leafy fora or fed voraciously on their hunted prey. Such were the SBVM when I came among them and drew together the fierce savages, formed them into a society and gave them laws."

(note: paraphrased from Bullfinch's Mythology)

oops. That was photo 13.

Would that be this one, MogGie?http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/britta_mog/vwp?.dir=/Chinese+New+Year+Party&.src=ph&.dnm=Mark+Moxon---1.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/bc/britta_mog/lst%3f%26.dir=/Chinese%2bNew%2bYear%2bParty%26.src=ph%26.view=t

Looks nothing like dear old Mark.

You should be ashamed.

*slaps wrist*

*sigh* I'm afraid I'm shameless, GB.

But Mark is too. It's been whispered about that Peta is next on his menu... er... agenda for justice.