h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Roman Navy - A69448440
Author: bobstafford - U3151547

Ploease comment on part 1 of 6 thanks

Hi Bob

This looks suspiciously like an h2g2 University Project - are you planning on putting it through as one?

Alex

Lets just say I have kept the options open and prepared it as such and the University needs some support as things are a bit quiet. The entries are linked as well.

On the otherhand it is up to the reviewers.

What do you think

The entries are rather list-like, which you might get away with in a University Project, but certainly wouldn't if you submit them as individual entries.

The entry on the Roman Provinces of Britain is nothing to do with the rest and shouldn't be part of the project.

Suggestions please

Is that a reply to my posting?

Yes I am looking for the best place for thease and improvements and additions required to make it less list like

The problem is this leans toward the a list style.

If someone came to you and asked you to tell them about the Roman Navy, what would you say to them? Would you list off every possible type of Roman ship, and the names of the fleets?

Or would you find something about the Roman Navy which fascinates you and tell them all about that? This is what you need to do when you're writing a readable entry.

Good point I shall have a look

I have had an edit of this Guide ID: A69449962 is this less list like although still seeking interest. Which I will add later

I am still working on this very busy at the moment it is not forgotten

Any comments on this re write

You could try rewriting the first section so that it makes sense. At the moment it is all over the place.

- It starts with a paragraph about the Mediterranean becoming peaceful. This should surely be later in the first section.

- You give two reasons why the navy was considered inferior, but each is presented as the only reason.

- You say that the Empire became powerful because of the navy, but most of the conquests were done overland.

Ok on that now thanks for the comments

Let us know when you think it is ready for reviewing again.

Hello Gnomon

I have had a re write as suggested I hope I have covered the points raised. In particular the question of the existance of the Empire and the navy.