Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Created | Updated Jul 7, 2005
Chickens in general
Chickens in general are not active. They stand around all day, or if they're really unlucky they sort of jiggle about a bit in their cages. They eat grain, and they lay eggs. In fact, chickens would be almost completely void of interest were it not for an intersting chicken-related phenomenon. But I diverge! This Guide Entry is not concerned with the daily habits of chickens! Rather, it is concerned with an act that has only been observed in the chicken and select few other animals. The question that I am asking, my friend and reader, is: why did the chicken cross the road? I will not pretend to answer the question nor will I pretend that I am able; indeed. Instead, I will provide the answers put forth by wise and learned people throughout the ages, of many cultures and upbringings, and who may in my stead be able to provide an answer.
Enlighten Us
Question: why did the chicken cross the road?
Kindergarten Teacher:
To get to the other side.
Plato:
For the greater good
Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Accenture Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required
for the newly competitive market.Accenture Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Accenture helped the chicken use its skills,methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Accenture Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Accenture consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to
enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals in delivering and successfully architecting and implementing and enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Accenture Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Martin Luther King Jr.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses:
And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chickens, "Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crosses the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Jerry Senfield:
Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around
all over the place, anyway?
Freud:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates:
I have just released new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will also file important documents, balance accounts and automatically download Microsoft software it thinks you need. Might even work.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom
we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross the road.
Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath
the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The chicken did not cross the road....it transcended it.
Ernest Hemmingway:
To die. In the rain.
Yoda:
Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.
Colonel Sanders
What, you mean I missed one?
