h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You guy's are WEIRD!

So tell me what do you do with your sausage when you get it Grey Area, that way I can work out how weird you are. Not that there is anything wrong with being weird. Just look at me, I am perfectly sane.

Perfectly sane - how weird. I buy sausages from Perfects Butchery - spooky

Ooh, that is spooky. Perfects Butchery, you actually mean they give you a perfect cut of meat? That is very spooky

The shop is owned by Mr and Mrs Perfect. I fancy Miss Perfect who is perfect in every way. Alas she does not seem interested in my small goods.

Has she found her Mr Right (son of Mr and Mrs Right who run Rights Off-licence right next door)?

Right on. And by an amazing coincidence she owns every LP put out by the Righteous Brothers. What a riot.

She should have left, but it wouldn't be right if she just left, right?

I think we may have strayed from the point somewhat.

I think you're right. I've read these postings from left to right, and I can assure you you have. By the way, insurances are supposed to comfort the family you left(!) behind, no? That must mean that you can avoid hightaxes as being dead, by manners of giving beneficiers(?) only portions of the insurance fallout and put the rest in a resurrection fund.

Perhaps Hotblack Desiato can sort this out. He did, after all, spend a year dead for tax reasons.

True, but what Tax concessions are the Government willing to give the Dead? Free parking? Waive of water Rates? No need to leave the dustmen a Christmas box?

Maybe, Free Health Insurance, rebates on beautifying the city, year worth of sick days, if they are realyl old, then $1000 to spend at the pokies in Heaven

3 aces -you little ripper - go you good thing go- awesome - shagadellic

Mr. Garibaldi, what I do with my sausage is my own affair, and they can't touch me for it! Can you get sausage insurance, anyone?

I wouldn't even touch that with a 10 foot barge pole.

As for sausage insurance, I would go ask your insurance company. I am sure if you explain to them that you take good care of your sausage, they would give you a no claim bonus.

You can take out indemnity insurance on sausage dogs

Yes, but they only pay up if you can prove that your dog got made into sausages, which can be very hard to prove once they've added all the brick dust and pigs' eyelashes to the mixture.

Has Kermit got Miss Piggy's wonderful eyelashes insured?

So THAT'S why they're called Hot Dogs!

My insurance company will only insure sausagea if they are Datatagged, fitted with an immobiliser, and ghained to a lamp-post. And then they'll only cover for Third Party, Fire and Theft. Still, they throw in a naked lady with every policy...