h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You are leafing through James Joyce's Ulysses when your eye alights on the famous line 'the snot green sea, the scrotum tightening sea'. Later in the day you are reading Paul Theroux's novel My Other Life when you come across this line: 'I would rather chew snot than stay in this house.' Have you, you wonder, stumbled upon an untapped vein of literary deconstruction? The Significance of Snot and Other Effluvia in the Plays of William Shakespeare. Nasal Discharge as Metaphor in the Fiction of Jane Austen.

Find out at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A686540

well done.

not too sure how the first paragraph fits with the rest of the entry, but that might be because i need to go to bed.

the title is amusing, but i'm not sure that people would find the article if they were genuinely looking for something on snot (y?)

are tehre anyother articles on h2g2 that you could link too? ie. something on sneezing would be good, if snots so great why do we get rid of it at such high speed. and also illnesses is there is anthing written about those

well done again
FABT

I think its great. But I am now wondering whether we should all start taking snuff again. Is there a non nicotine version?

It's called cocain with perfume in

FABT

I agree with FABT. THe first few paragraphs do not hang together. The intro is great, but it leads to the question "Why is snot green?". It should lead to a general introduction to snot. The question about greenness is a side issue which should be tackled later on.

Doctors use the term "nasal mucus" for snot. There are lots of other parts of your body which produce mucus, but it is only called snot when it is in the nose.

The title should definitely include the word "Snot" in it. Perhaps just call it "Snot" and nothing else.

You might like to add two interesting facts about the Basotho people of Lesotho in southern Africa. 1. They use small metal implements for picking their noses. 2. Mothers clear their babies' noses of snot by sucking it out.

Oops, just lost the first effort at this post!

Hiya,

I like this piece, . Interesting and informative in an individual style. Love the intro!

There are one or two typos or linguistic oddities in there, but having just gone through them... I don't really want to do it again! Oh, go on then.

I thought it sounded like a good idea to change the title (although I *do* get it ). How about "The Joy of Snot", or "Snot - the untold story".

I also agree that the question of greenness seems rather a non sequitur after the intro.

>>snot or mucus, as scientists prefer to call it

- I think your comma is out of place, leaving you suggesting that scientists call it 'snot or mucus'.

>>germs and a greater deal of other gunk.

- I think 'a great deal' is what you want here.

>>like a rock star being carried along on the upstretched arms of concert fans

- I love this image for cilia hauling gunk out of your lungs. Sex, drugs and Rock 'n' Roll Mucus! Ye-ah!

>>(But you can make a passable stringy imitation with corn syrup and gelatine in the microwave. Sadly, the commercial product that came packaged in a huge plastic nose - which you apparently ate by sucking through the nostrils - is no longer available.)

- Personally, I wouldn't put these last two sentences in brackets. On the contrary, I think the concept of 'artificially produced' bogies is worth a whole paragraph to itself - More! More!

>>Researchers have found that tumour secrete mucins that protect them from attack by the body's own immune system.

- Even with the typo (tumourS) fixed, I still find this sentence a little ambiguous. I choose to read that the mucins protect the researchers from attack by the body's own immune system. I don't know if it's word order, or the two *that*s or the 'them'.

>>The test detected lung cancers in 87 percent of study cases.

- Does this mean that the test detected lung cancers in 87 percent of a random group of people, or that of 100 diagnosed lung-cancer patients, the test detected 87% of them?

Finally, I like your conclusion but it looks as if you could do a bit more with it. Those few lines under your final header look a touch forlorn down there. IMO, of course.

So, I like it. Second time round, these are just my thoughts; take 'em or leave 'em as you judge fit.

Seeya
Spiff

Thanks for the comments people. I will adjust the yarn accordingly to take account of some (most) of them.

As for the heading, I deliberately avoided the use of the word 'snot'. There is a precedent on h2g2. In my yarn about vomit, I avoided using pejorative terms such as 'throwing up' 'spewing' and 'using the great white telephone' in the heading.

Anyone sticking the word 'snot' in the h2g2 search engine - as you do - will be directed to the yarn.

Hi Looney
It's a great article, and I found it both interesting and amusing...but what IS this thing you have about bodily fluids? Are you a descendent of that loony general in Dr. Strangelove

FM

well, a bit anyway.

I was in a Singapore Karaoke bar. The song menu had, in its past, been translated from English to Chinese, and then subsequently re-translated into its current form. It had lots of mistakes, including "Love me Tundra" and "The Sound of Mucis". My Chinese hosts couldn't understand why I kept giggling at the menu. True, honest!



I liked the article a lot. The timing of the "why green?" section didn't strike me as particularly discordant....

'snot a lot else to say really...

Thanks Geoff. Splendid info

The 'why is snot green' bit probably (hopefully) reads better because I fixed it after reading the earlier remarks in this forum.

Hi Looney, I would have to agree with Felonious Monk's comment - there is a certain trend amongst some of your articles.

The very last line left a rather strong feeling in my stomach!

I'm a little worried at you describing bacteria being caught when you have a cold as it is a virus that causes cold but I don't think this is massively important here.

Other than that - top form as ever. Keep 'em flowing (ahem).



Orcus

The sentence about not being able to grow mucus in laboratories looks out of place. Could you move it to the section "Commercial Possibilities"?

Lets not get too picky (pun intended) here people. Your average h2g2 researcher is not a moron with the comprehension ability of a nine-year-old (

Some more changes have been made

Being picky is what peer review is all about. Or if 's not, 's pity 's not.

I'm sorry I missed this going through PR! But congrats on getting it picked!

Just as a little known fact, did you know that mucous is the best lubricating fluid that the body produces?

I suspect banana-based vomit would give it a run for its money, so to speak

You've been recommended!

Along with mass hankerchief waving, the trumpeting sound of 1000 noses being blown rings through the h2g2 flora in celebration of this heady news