Black_Pepper
Created | Updated Nov 10, 2005
The swish of a black cloak in the looming darkness.
The hiss as two sporks slice the air near your throat.1
The sound of a kettle boiling over in the background.
Yes, , you have strayed into my Personal Space. There is no escape.2 You must stay, have a cup of Darjeeling, and listen to a tale of peril and woe! Have a cookie while you wait.
So, you wish to know more about me!3 Know, then, that I come from the distant planet Pepper. My planet was wracked by civil wars over our most valuable possession - The Sacred Sea Salt. We decided that there was only one way to halt the carnage: to send a brave voyager out into the solar system with the Sea Salt, so no Pepperites could war over it again! That voyager, my friend, was I. Another cookie?4
To cut a long story short, I ended up here: Earth! I soon discovered a worthy cause to devote the powers of the Sea Salt to, and joined the Campaign to Rename Thursday 'Thing'.5 I can generally be found sporking in the Thingites' Training Ground, or No No No!!
Some other useful things you may like to know about me:
- I live in Northern Ireland. It's a nice place, really.
- I am a girl. I appreciate it can be difficult to tell when someone is wearing a cloak such as mine.
- All the tea I've been giving you is FairTrade. We Pepperites do not like to exploit each other the way humans do.
- My towel is in my top drawer.
- I am a Christian and like talking about religion.
- I love reading, especially Tolkien, Lewis and Pratchett. My current favourite book is Life of Pi.
- I have curly hair. I loathe straighteners and everything they stand for.
- That is all I can think of right now.
I hope you have enjoyed your visit, . Please call again sometime, when I have more information here. Or even better, leave me a message. It would be great to hear from you.
1I got two because of a clerical error.2Well, unless you hit the Back button on your browser. But that would hurt my feelings terribly, so you aren't going to.3And even if you don't, you're going to hear it anyway.4Oh, go on. They're virtually fat free.5Here I would put in the Thingites' logo, if I could work the computer better.
