the future of stress
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
stress, yeah. it's that annoying thing that laggers on the back of your mind everyday and only seems to accumulate over time. it detiorates your mental stability and drives you nuts. stress fractures even begin to appear on your face after awhile in the forms of wrinkles. your body developes these stress fractures under the extreme stress of, well, stress. in which case, it can be seen that stress is self-replicating and spreads from the mental stress in your head to physical stress that causes fractures on your bodily surfaces.
stranger yet, it seems that the only way to get rid of this stress is to put your body under even greater stress. you go and do physical activity that pushes you to your limits to relax yourself. you dive into some mental matter that requires your complete undivided mental composure. it would appear from this that stress is its own solution.
however, we already know that stress self-replicates much in the manner of a virus, so we can therefore say that physical and mental stress relieval only succeeds in creating more stress. if more stress is created with every time we get rid of it, then that would suggest that we our daily accumulation of stress vastly exceeds our daily destruction of stress. in fact, the very act of destroying stress possibly creates more stress than one would normally attract under normal circumstances.
if we keep in mind thermodynamics, we realize that the creation and destruction of energy or matter is impossible so we are not truly destroying or creating stress. however, matter can be converted to energy and vice versa. since we know that stress is not pysical matter, we therefore must accept that it is a form of energy. this energy can be harvested like all energy and used at our own disposal, granted we have the proper instruments to do so. as we speak, top government scientists are no doubt unlocking the mysteries of stress-harvesting powerplants. i predict that soon enough, our entire country will be supplied with energy by the means of their own stress. this would create a strange loophole that makes us all strangely self-dependent with our stress keeping us running. of course, by keeping ourself running, we continue our daily chores which only manages to add to our ever-increasing resevoir of stress. it's a vicious cycle. in supplying our own limitless energy, we only succeed in creating more stress for ourselves and giving us more energy. this will cause a great social heirarchy upset since the people under the most stress are on the bottom of the corporate ladder and in a short amount of time after the discovery of stress energy-harvesting has been discovered, they will have the largest pool of energy. they will no doubt begin to sell power to the highest bidder and project themselves to the top of the social heirarchy. our entire society will be torn into a frenzied whirlpool as the top and the bottom of our society will constantly exchange places.
however, society really won't be a problem for one major reason that we forgot to remember. the energy conversion has to be coming from matter somewhere. where? it obviously has to be converted from the mass in the person's immediate surroundings. in other words, everything around a person is converted into stress energy. so basically, my point is in the not too distant future, we can expect the world to be composed solely of a turmoilous heirarchy-lacking society based on the harvested stress energy of self-absorbed individuals who are all living by themselves in their own little worlds, independent from everything around them.
have a stressful day!
