h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One thing that keeps on recurring inthe national stereotype game is the way savvy representatives of the libelled minority will quite reasonably point out

"You may be right. There could well be thick Irish people and I'm sure there are. But you're in County Mayo, so, and you're looking the wrong way. THe people who really get the rest of us a bad name for being a bit thick and slow are all from County Kerry!"

This happens: the rest of Ireland cheerfully says "you may be right" and points to its botttom left-hand corner, about whose inhabitants the Irish themselves tell thick jokes. So you go to Kerry, where the locals say "Oh, it's not us, its all them inbreds and thick people in Dingle giving the rest of us a bad name"

So you go to Dingle, where in a pub you are pointed at one district of the town where really thick people live. And hey point you to one street....

I've seen similar reductive logic used in challenging the idea that the Welsh are all scheming, conniving and inherently untrustworthy.

"It's not us, it's those buggers in Cardiganshire!" people in Flint and Glamorgan alike will tell you. "Got a good joke for you 'ere about this thieving Cardi!"

And as for mean miserly Scots? The rest of Scotland tells its tight-fisted jokes about Aberdeen.

And of course it's worth noting that it isn't just a British thing - the French tell their "thick neighbour" jokes about the Belgians, as any glance at an Asterix book will tell you. The Americans, of course, can't get past the "thick Pole" as an object of mirth. I may need correcting on this, but don't the Spanish have a similar attitude to the Portuguese? Do we all need a neighbour to look down on, perhaps?

Very interesting and well-observed comments there AgProv. It's most certainly the case that all over the world countries and reguions need close neighbours to look down on for whatever reason that may be.

And I cherish the idea that somewhere, in a house in a street in a district of Aberdeen, is Scotland's Officially Crowned Meanest Man (or woman)...

the thing about the Welsh being, shall we say, thieves, cheats and scallies, seems to be dying out now, although it's enshrined in the English language with phrases like "to welsh on a contract", ie to go back on a deal or to refuse to pay a bill. But we do as a nation point to the far West and blame it on Cardiganshire...

Incidentally, in "Henry V", you find a set of characters who illustrate the fact Shakespeare wrote the very first "There was a Welshman, a Scotsdman and an Englidhman..." joke, as three footsoldiers are of thee respective nationalities and fill the regional stereotypes to a treat as soldierly comic relief..

I hadn't heard this about the welsh being sneaky???Least now I know where "to welsh on a contract" comes from!(I'd always heard other Ehm "rumours" about the Welsh)
Be interested to see what stereo-types you have out there for the South African?I've heard all sorts of silly things.....

Sed-Efrrrickans.....oh dear.

For delicacy's sake I shall omit reference to the Spitting Image song, which sums up British prejudices about South Africans to a tee.

(In any case, it's dealt with, wonderfully, here....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/A3700234

For the sound version, go to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSLMKUXZ3hk )

But the overwhelming picture - and I KNOW this is not universally correct - is one of humourless, vindictive, agressive, self-righteous, racist, folk (or "volk"?) who linguistically and ethnically have a lot in common with old-time Germans. Indeed, in WW2 a lot of Boers appeared to think South Africa had unaccountably opted to fight on the wrong side... witnesds the now madly-deceased Eugene Terre'Blanche and his tendency to salute with an extended right arm, in front of a flag which looked oddly familiar nad which with one extra leg would not have been out of place in old-time Germany.

This despite the fact the Dutch, and in fact both the Dutch and Afrikaans languages, are just as closely related to England and the English people and language.

In fact: you can make sense of Dutch and Afrikaans if, like me, you've lived in East Anglia for ten years and you've listened especially to Suffolk people talking English. It's practically the same bleeding language on both sides of the North Sea.

Take a Dutch piece of computerese and imagine an old boy from Ipswich speaking it in English:-

"Er is een fout op de server opgetreden. Reden van deze fout is vaak:"

It reconstructs into your brain as

" 'Er's a fault of the server operatin'. Rayson for this fault is loike:-"

My own education in South African ways was a lovely gorgeous girl from Natal, called Heidi van Sturboek (false name for a real person), who emigrated to Britain, sincerely wanted fo get on without causing trouble, but within a fortnight attracted complaints in the care home where we both worked as, with the best of intentions, she'd been put in charge of other African immigrant staff, this time from Zimbabwe, who'd objected to her coming over all baas-lady and using what they called "kitchen kaffir" to them. (ie, a debased and simplified argot white people used to convey orders to the housemaids). But this was the only way she knew, at the time, of working with black people and it hadn't even occured to her that she was being offensive... I'll credit her this: she soon learnt and a year or so later, had turned all the stereotypes about White South Africans on their head.

Elsewhere, I've written her into fiction only slightly altered... if you cannot do that to your ex-girlfriend there is no hope.

Kiff, I suppose.

See this is the problem I have- people just assume I am all of those horrible things!
Also I come from an Enlgish background, with no dutch in me and don't even speak Afrikaans (can't even spell it!)
Makes me very cross when people just assume I am racist! The south african stereotype is now so out dated, the world needs to re- think it's view on this beautiful country that has more in its history than hatred and violence.
incidently, I have noticed a tendancy towards materialism though.....which is odd considering there is nothing decent to buy in SA anyway!

Apologies.

I really didn't mean to offend - just to point out that appearances deceive and there really CAN be such a thing as a nice South African.

You wouldn't have wanted to pick a fight with her (a red-haired Afrikaaner jongvrou) but once she realised the rules were differnet, Heidi settled in a treat and learnt to do different.

I'm not offended at all!Just find it facinating...my fiance calls me his spear chucking colonial....which is nice haha!