The Conspiracy Primer - Alien Nation

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The UFO crowd on alt.alien.visitors is pretty insistent that the answer to "Is there anybody out there?" is a firmly established "duh". Some, such as astronomers, are not so certain. Before science is prepared to accept that spacemen walk among us, an alien body or some item of unearthly manufacture would be nice, thank you very much.

The UFO believers claim this kind of unquestionable evidence is already in human hands. Unfortunately, it's in the wrong hands. There's a conspiracy involving top government officials, NASA personnel, generals, and every American president since Truman to keep it all from us.


Why? The pat answer is that there would be panic in the streets if we knew UFOs were real. The cabal that is covering it all up must not think too highly of a population that has lived with the knowledge that thermonuclear midnight has been four minutes away since the dawn of the cold war. You would think if anything could motivate a people to freak out, pull their money out of the stock market, or do something truly unthinkable like vote for politicians outside of the two-party system, it would be the revelation that Commies have every backwater on the auto club map targeted with a MIRV.


Humans -- survivors of countless upheavals -- have not only proven themselves to be quite adaptive to sudden change but they have also proven themselves to be quite tasty. It is our crunchy goodness that is one suggested reason why there's been a huge UFO cover up. A reptilian race with a taste for human sashimi is en route to earth in a spaceship that looks like an asteroid. Luckily, a race of gray aliens in flying saucers got to earth first to warn us about the coming dine-in invasion. The grays also struck up an alliance and are supplying the defense establishment with incredible technology. The catch is the government has agreed to let the grays occasionally snatch some people. Why? It seems these poor grays, in the process of building some Dyson spheres, let all the water leak out of their gene pool. They need our DNA to prime their genetic pump.

Unfortunately your average citizen isn't going to stand for government-approved kidnapping no matter what kind of techno gunk can be had. The blow-back from other shadowy plots such as CIA mind-control experiments and putting former Nazis on the public payroll has made it abundantly clear that Joe Six-Pack doesn't quite understand the lengths one must go to protect national security.


Critics of the "The government knows they're up there, they just ain't telling' us!" conspiracy theory argue that if this is true, it is clearly the most successful cover up of all time. After all, it would require, over 40 years, the silence of hundreds of people from different walks of life. Nixon couldn't keep Watergate under wraps. Reagan couldn't keep Iran-Contra from tainting his administration. War hero Bush couldn't keep a rotten economy from an electorate hepped up on Jingoism. So if American presidents can't keep relatively small bush-fires under control, how come every one of them since Truman has managed to keep this explosive story quietly smoldering?

Enter MJ-12 (aka Majestic-12). MJ-12 is a super-secret government within the government. MJ-12 has been trying to keep the whole alien thingy under wraps since it was formed in 1952. Threats and the occasional political assassination keep everyone in line. According to a transcript of a speech given by Milton William Cooper in 1989, MJ-12 bumped off JFK because he was about to spill the beans on the saucermen.

Cooper claims he's a former military intelligence man with the inside scoop on the whole alien conspiracy. Braving an assassin's bullet, Cooper reveals a lot about the alien cover up and MJ-12. Among many allegations, he says:
  • we've had secret bases on the moon since the mid-1960s.
  • the government has a shadowy plan called Alternative-3 in the works that would see patriots and abductees herded into concentration camps should the UFO secret ever get out.
  • full time horror author and part time UFO buff Whitely Strieber is a known disinformation agent. (It seems Strieber's more moderate outlook on the alien question makes him a government plant)

Despite Cooper's far out claims, he does offer the UFO crowd a useful rebuttal to the "So, why hasn't anyone come forward with this information?" criticism. It appears some do. And when they do, they're just labeled as cranks.

Another deep throat is "Government UFO Scientist" Robert Lazar. In a number of interviews Lazar has offered a fantastic tale about his work at the Nevada Nellis Airforce Base's mysterious Area 51. The area is a test range for secret military aircraft, stuff America really, really wants to hide from the Commies. For example, U2 spy plane pilots were trained at Nellis. Lazar says, however, stuff like flying saucers and anti-matter reactors are being secretly developed there.

The UFO crowd really loves Lazar because his credentials look pretty good. He says he got a master's degree from MIT in 1982 and worked as a physicist at Los Alamos National Labs before working at Area 51.

George Knapp, an anchor man at KLAS-TV in Las Vegas, Nevada, did a little digging and oddly enough had a hard time confirming Lazar's background. A check with Los Alamos met with official denials that Lazar was ever an employee. Is Lazar lying? Knapp dug a bit deeper and discovered a 1982 Los Alamos phone book that listed Lazar. How could the lab deny employing Lazar when there was an obvious record of his employment? Knapp concluded that someone was trying to make Lazar's past vanish!

Others have also snooped around on their own and they are not so certain someone is out to erase Lazar's past. The inconsistencies in Lazar's story have been compiled by Tom Mahood and can be viewed at his web page The Bob Lazar Corner.

Mahood's document reveals that a couple of skeptics checked several directories at MIT and could not find any listings of Robert Lazar. Was Lazar erased from all of them? Mahood argues it would be pretty hard to make undetectable edits to microfilm records stored in vaults.

Mahood's documents also presents an alternative view on the "cover-up" regarding Lazar's employment history with Los Alamos. Mahood has established that the lab's phonebook listings include not just employees but subcontractors. Lazar's entry indicates he worked as a technician for a subcontractor. So while the official denial seems rather ominous, it isn't. Anyone who has ever done temp work knows that while you might show up at some point in a company phone book, you wouldn't necessarily be entered in human resources records as an employee.


Lazar's "testimony", Cooper's speeches, works by such authors as Whitely Strieber, Budd Hopkins' research into alien abductions , and a series of documents called The Krill Files have formed the torah of UFO belief. It all sort of works like this:

World authorities became concerned by reports of strange flying objects in the early 1930s. In the 1940s, Allied pilots started calling the objects "Foo Fighters". (Some say the Nazis not only had alien contact but by the 1940s they had U FOs and even moon bases!) It wasn't until July 2, 1947 when some grays crashed a saucer at Roswell that it became clear that aliens were behind flying saucer reports.

MJ-12 was formed a few years later in response to some low-level pleasure flights the grays made over the White House. MJ-12 soon arranged a meeting with the grays. After MJ-12 heard about the impending invasion of man-eating reptoid aliens, MJ-12 signed a treaty that allowed abductions as long as not a lot of people were taken and they were returned unharmed. For their troubles, Americans received a transfer of technology (like flying saucers for the Air Force). Area 51 became the testing ground for these newly acquired saucers and by the mid-1950s America was on the moon.

By the late 1960s, MJ-12 began to suspect that the grays were not being entirely truthful or living up to their end of the bargain. They were taking a lot more people than planned and they were jamming two millimeter long mind-control devices up their snouts. It also seemed the grays weren't always giving a lot of people back. Three million people are held in underground bases in the South West. When the reptoids arrive, the grays are going to release their army of captured zombies from underground bases. Implanted abductees will then be switched on like Manchurian candidates and will blow up power stations and stuff. The reptoids, and their faithful gray allies, will then establish a One World Government and start eating.

Even with their captured and controlled humans, the reptoid-gray tag team know they can't go it alone. They've got their own human accomplices: members of the government, the UN, bankers, and the media.

MJ-12 has its own back-up plan. If the invasion story ever gets out, MJ-12 is going to suspend the constitution, grab abductees and stick them in camps before they can take out so much as a Dairy Queen. MJ-12 knows that sort of behavior is not going to sit well with true patriots, so they'll have to be stuck in the camps as well. Even with the full force of the American military, MJ-12 knows they can't go it alone. They've got their own accomplices: members of the government, the UN, bankers, and the media.

Who would have guessed?

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