Sandwiches - The Theorum of
Created | Updated Apr 6, 2005
A Sandwich is defined as:" a piece of meat or other food placed between two slices of bread. "
Although food in this form has long been used, the term sandwich originated in the 18th cent. It is named after John Montagu, the 4th earl of Sandwich, an inveterate gambler who ate informally at the gaming table rather than stopping for the set meal.
John Montague then went on to develop the Theorum of Sandwiches, which reads as follows:
1. m = ms
The manner one consumes a sandwich (m) is a reflection of ones mental stability (ms).
2. s =(g x [f+h])
When dropping a sandwich, the downward pull of gravity (g) is relative to the amount of fluff (f) and hair (h) that collates on the surface area of the bread (s).
3. When entering the room with a sandwich, the laws of probability dictate that 99 time out of 100, someone else in the room will be compelled to ask what the filling is.
Although sandwiches are widely considered dull, drab eating matter, they should be regarded some considerable respect, as without them, millions of students, insomniacs and men over the age of 30 would simply starve to death.
