Although the citizens seem mostly friendly and content, in reality they all yearn to leave, but following the privatisation of buses in the 1980's are no longer able to do so.

Consequently, most of the inhabitants pretend to go to London every week, by hiding behind their curtains or writing letters to national newspapers claiming to have been to France and not liked the natives very much.

If planning a visit to Tunbridge Wells, the most eventful time can be had by putting on a German accent and asking the directions to the local Labour Party Headquarters.

The most important thing to have with you is enough money to leave again.