Computing: a religious perspective
Created | Updated Feb 7, 2002
In the beggining were the words, and they were: 'This Program Has Performed An Illegal Operation And Will Be Shut Down'
Using computers is kind of like religion, you need a lot of faith and praying to god that you don't commit any mortal sins (such as trying to open two files at once). This is especially true for people in School studying for GCSEs (and maybe A-levels too, and you people are supposed to be organised!) who have to get that Biology course-work in for tomorrow. So, to help you, here's my Story of Creation: An English essay: Note that this story begins on Sunday, not Monday.
In the beginning there was nothing. Then the User sat down upon his swivel-chair and said: 'Let there be a title!' And thus a title was typed into the Word Document, and the User saw that this was good. Then the Simpsons was on, and that was better! And so the first day ended.
On the second day, the User really was going to get some work done, honest, when Phil called for a football match, and the user saw that this was good. And so the second day ended.
On the third day the User sat down and said: 'Right, I've gotta get some work done'. And the User typed upon his keyboard, and thus the User began to explain how the auther conveys his emotions through the poem, and the user saw that this was good. And so the third day ended.
On the fourth day, the User found out the deadline was tomorrow, not Friday, and so he said 'Oh bugger! I'd better get a move on!'
And so the User typed into the early hours of the morning. And the User saw his essay typed in black and white and saw that this was good. Then he pressed print, and nothing happened, and he saw that this was very, very bad. And so the fourth day ended.
On the fifth day, after being given an extended deadline, the user took apart the printer and cursed it repeatedly. Then his friend Andy let him use his printer, and so the essay was finished at last, and the User saw that this was good. And so the fifth day ended.
On the sixth day, the User handed the essay to the Lord of the English lesson, who saw that it was good and said: 'Let this be an A!' and so it came to pass, and the User saw that this was good.
On the seventh day, the user relaxed, his great work completed at last. And the user gazed upon his homework pile and saw that he had a lot of work to do...
A Piece of Inspiration
Here's a link to a piece that was inspired by this piece (and by a rather odd conversation). www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A692417
