NO!!!!!!!!! Last week I said a lot of things that would appear in this week's issue, but things started to fall apart, time got the better of me, and some things I just could not include. But guess what? I still had time to create a brilliant birthday special of Stories from Spook. Let's Celebrate!!!!!!!!!

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Tales from the CYBERHUMAN

PART THREE:

Many miles from the habitation domes on the planet Mondas, in heavily crater-marked areas known as the Kyrik Circles, in scattered communities lived gangs of rebels who opposed the law that all Mondasians had to be cybernetically converted into Cybermen. Living like hermits and wearing animal skins, they had attacked the Scientific Habitation Dome (where most cybernetic transformations took place) on several occasions. Reports from Earth humans compared them to... what were they called... animal rights protestors? Only these were more like human rights protestors.

The central rebel gang was led by a particularly fanatic rebel called Sy Monn. Sy Monn was cold and sinister. He didn't care what he attacked or who he attacked. He just knew that all other Mondasians were his enemies. He was so cold and evil that he had gained the nickname 'Monn the Bloody'. Armed with a powerful laser rifle etched with the word 'Justice', he led the rebels on all their attacks against Krail and his subordinates, assisted by his deputy Biroc.

Sy Monn was tall and slim, with an agile frame that was capable of swift and sudden attacks, with furry bearskins wrapped around him like a cloak. When he spread this cloak he looked like a giant brown bat. His face was hidden beneath a head-mask that was completely black except for a few white streaks like lightning. His laser rifle was holstered on a black leather belt around his middle. As the Mondasians continued with their cybernetic transformations, Sy Monn planned a big and devastating attack that would knock the Mondasians back into the dust. Not with his rebels though, but with a virus...

BEELEEP! BEELEEP! BEELEEP! The alarm signal rang shrilly through the Scientific Habitation Dome, sending technicians and scientists running in all directions and seeking their individual computer consoles to assess what the alarm registered.

Senior Technician Astrak was running too. Her short blonde hair flapped around her cheeks, causing her to brush it aside crossly. Her face was scarred down one side by a rebel attack several years ago, but her sparkling blue eyes and wide lips were still visible amongst the red gashes.

Like every technician or scientist, when she found her specific computer console, she pounced upon it and began punching buttons and analysing data. A side door hummed and slid across, then the hulking figure of Chief Scientific Researcher Krail marched through. His dark eyes scanned the room and he sniffed haughtily before barking,
'What's the matter?'

Astrak raised her voice over the still-bleeping alarm.
'Computers detect a small craft in atmosphere proximity. The craft is unarmed but contains a massive amount of energy, which could be dangerous.'

Krail sat at the centre of the room on a raised platform. He folded his arms and thought. He adressed Astrak sharply.
'Well, inform the Attack Squad Habitation Dome. Tell them what our computers have detected and suggest that if that craft doesn't leave soon, then they'd better shoot it down...'

At that moment, the 'craft' that the Mondasian computers had registered was on the verge of losing total power. As the TARDIS console showed signs of deterioration, the Doctor was hurriedly explaining Mondas to Ace.

'Basically, Mondas was the planet where the Cybermen were first created,'

the Doctor said with distaste.

'I thought you said the Cybermen lived on Telos,'

Ace remarked confusedly.

The Doctor was getting exceedingly worried and irritated.
'Mondas was destroyed in 1986 when it began absorbing the Earth's raw energy. Ever since then the Cybermen have lived on Telos,'

he sneered.
'I wouldn't be surprised if Mondas has been draining the raw energy of the TARDIS. That's why we've had repeated power losses.'

When the seriousness of this thought struck, he dashed over to one side of the console and hammered some in-put keys. Ace saw his face freeze.

'What is it?'

The Doctor gazed at her, his eyes wide in shock and surprise.
'The TARDIS's energy is indeed being absorbed by Mondas. The year is 1985. A year before it absorbed the energy of the Earth and was destroyed.'

A shrill warning cry cut across him. The scanner picture of Mondas changed to an aerial view of the Attack Squad Habitation Dome. A deep voice, filled with hate and mistrust, barked at them.

'This is the Mondas Attack Squad. You have been identified and classed as hostile. Leave this planet's sector immediately, or you'll be shot down.'

The Doctor spoke loudly.
'Mondas Attack Squad. We are NOT hostile and our craft's energy is being drained at an alarming rate. We don't have enough power to leave this sector. Please let us land on your planet and we will try to re-energise.'

Whoever had spoken to them spent a few minutes thinking things over. The Doctor dived beneath the console and pulled out several wires. He fiddled with them and put them back. The barking voice came again.

'Mondas Attack Squad to craft in atmosphere proximity. You have been classed hostile and you must leave this sector. This is your final warning.'

The Doctor told Ace to brace herself for impending danger. Although force-fields shielded the TARDIS, repeated laser fire would severely drain whatever small amount of energy it still had.
'Listen Mondas Attack Squad!'

the Doctor yelled, wanting to shout 'you bumbling idiot!' but thinking it unwise,
'I have just checked our power levels and they are near zero. We MUST land to re-energise.'

Time goes slowly when serious things happen. It seemed to Ace that every second of what happened next lasted a minute. A dazzling ball of laser fire shot from the sky view of the Attack Squad Dome and struck the outer shell of the TARDIS. She and the Doctor were rocked off their feet, the TARDIS spun and fell heavily through space...

This joke has had to be removed due to copyright reasons. However, the joke can still be viewed HERE.

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says:
'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

The cats says,
'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.'
God says,
'Say no more.'

And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said,
'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.'

God says,
'Say no more.'

And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,
'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says;
'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!'

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired.
'Bad day at the course?'

his wife asked.
'Everything was going fine,'

he said.
'Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee.
'Oh, that's awful!'
'You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.'

One day a man and his wife are playing golf at their home course. On a certain par four, the man tees it up and hits a big slice into the woods.

They find his ball directly behind one of the greenskeeper's buildings where equipment is stored, so that he can't play toward the green at all.

'Dang!'

the man says,
'I'll have to play sideways to get back on the fairway. I'll make five at best.'

But his wife, who had been looking things over, said
'Look, this shed has double doors at both ends. If we open them up, you can hit a low shot right through the building toward the green.'

The man congratulated his wife on her cleverness and they set up for the shot. But the ball hit the top of the far doorframe and came whistling back, striking his wife in the temple and killing her dead on the spot.

A year or so later, the same man was playing the same par 4 and hit his tee shot in almost exactly the same spot as before, right behind the building.

As he is cursing his luck and preparing to swing, one of his playing partners says,
'Wait, look we can open these double doors and...'
'No way,'

the man says, cutting him off.
'I was here last year and tried that shot and ended up making a six.'

Who do you think murdered the two brothers? Let me hear all your ides on who murdered them and what will happen NEXT!

Gordan hopped. This is pretty amazing since Gordan was never programmed to hop, but he did anyway. None of the crew of the Spaceship Bravado actually know why he can hop, that he can hop, or that he actually exists. It is a common fact known by nobody that if you don't pay any notice to someone for a long amount of time, say a day, then they begin to disappear. After about a week of this they disappear completely, and become invisible. Once you are invisible you can do lots of different things, like walk through walls and listen in on private conversations and cause trouble. As you may have guessed by now, Gordan is not invisible. He would be but there was one thing that didn't ignore him: The Radio.

Jim Jiggle just loves the radio. He has it on all the time. He also did something special to it. He made it give a special welcome to everyone onboard, something it did anyway. So every morning the radio shouts 'And let me give a BIG welcome to everyone on the spaceship Bravado, who at this moment are somewhere very scary and horrible: a horrible scary place.' The reason that Gordan wanted to be invisible (if you don't know Gordan did actually want to be invisible): unknown.

Chapter 4 will be continued NEXT WEEK!

Hope everyone enjoyed this week's addition of Stories from Spook. If you would like to write stories to appear in Stories from Spook then use the boxes provided at the top of the page. I haven't a clue what will be in next week's issue, so you'll have to just wait, keep reading, keep enjoying and keep celebrating!!!!

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