Becoming a first time dad at age 41
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
I became a father for the first time at age 41 this year. This remarkable event came as a bit of a surprise but it has made me realise some things both about myself and life in general.
-I am knackered
-My partner is also knackered
-The baby (Max) isn't
-My knee joints are shot (discovered through hours of ground level fun and nappy changing)
-I'm glad I never gave vasectomy a seconds thought
-Doctors are fallible (my partners doctor said she couldn't have children
-Life doesn't begin at 40 but at 41
-Life also begins at 6.30 in the morning
-Feeding time at the zoo is like a refined afternoon tea party compared to feeding time for Max
-Babies are heavier than you would imagine
-Baby car seats are designed by the most fiendish sadist in the WHOLE world
-There is more to life than work
-Work is where I go to catch up on sleep
-Crawling is a very efficient means of locomotion
-Other parents lose the ability to talk about anything other than the baby
-I seem to have lost the ability to talk about anything other than the baby, hence this piece. I want to get it out of my system and get back to having an opinion on something other than baby wipes.
-Speaking of baby wipes I really like the soft ones with baby lotion on for his little botty aahhhhh
-I seem to be slipping into baby talk
-Goo ga goo ga gurgle
-Dribble gets everywhere
-If the sheets in the cot are wet the chances are he sucked them
-Babies are vicious and try to tear the flesh from your face
-Babies know precisely the most embarressing place and time to fart
-I blame the baby when I fart (revenge :-))
-Baby food, especially the powdered kind when re hydrated, is akin to the gloop used to fill holes in the wall
-Using the babies plastic spoon to flick, means the gloop goes further in the hole in the wall and requires less sanding when dry
-There are more Winnie the Pooh accesories than there are stars in all the firmament
-Most shops only have baby changing facilities in ladies loos which does add to the fun
-If I take Max out on my own people give me suspicious looks
-Max grunts when he does a poo
-The toilet habits of the rest of the family are not available for discussion in this space
These are merely my first musings on this subject and may well be added to as time, and Max progresses.
-I am knackered
-My partner is also knackered
-The baby (Max) isn't
-My knee joints are shot (discovered through hours of ground level fun and nappy changing)
-I'm glad I never gave vasectomy a seconds thought
-Doctors are fallible (my partners doctor said she couldn't have children
-Life doesn't begin at 40 but at 41
-Life also begins at 6.30 in the morning
-Feeding time at the zoo is like a refined afternoon tea party compared to feeding time for Max
-Babies are heavier than you would imagine
-Baby car seats are designed by the most fiendish sadist in the WHOLE world
-There is more to life than work
-Work is where I go to catch up on sleep
-Crawling is a very efficient means of locomotion
-Other parents lose the ability to talk about anything other than the baby
-I seem to have lost the ability to talk about anything other than the baby, hence this piece. I want to get it out of my system and get back to having an opinion on something other than baby wipes.
-Speaking of baby wipes I really like the soft ones with baby lotion on for his little botty aahhhhh
-I seem to be slipping into baby talk
-Goo ga goo ga gurgle
-Dribble gets everywhere
-If the sheets in the cot are wet the chances are he sucked them
-Babies are vicious and try to tear the flesh from your face
-Babies know precisely the most embarressing place and time to fart
-I blame the baby when I fart (revenge :-))
-Baby food, especially the powdered kind when re hydrated, is akin to the gloop used to fill holes in the wall
-Using the babies plastic spoon to flick, means the gloop goes further in the hole in the wall and requires less sanding when dry
-There are more Winnie the Pooh accesories than there are stars in all the firmament
-Most shops only have baby changing facilities in ladies loos which does add to the fun
-If I take Max out on my own people give me suspicious looks
-Max grunts when he does a poo
-The toilet habits of the rest of the family are not available for discussion in this space
These are merely my first musings on this subject and may well be added to as time, and Max progresses.
