h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right this is going to seem a bit redundant now but this was something I was hammering out last night when the internet selfishly disconnected itself and I've not got back to posting it until now...but still:


"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the hamlet.
A mouse chased a tom-cat with a large wodden mallet.
The Children all stared wide-eyed at the scene
And chorused with laughter at the violence on-screen.
For the wee ones, the telly's not bad at this time of year
Meanwhile the adults get plump on the mince-pies and beer.

I don't care if you mind that my rhyming is suspect - the lyrical arts I'll mangle and upset, with my blatant abuse of the stanza and couplet.
But I'll be brief, I promise, and to that end I'll say this this:
There's only one item on my Christmas wish list.

So "Dear Santa" (or to whomever it is you report)
Please endeavour those @ the H2G2 Support
to include on their list (before they run out of room)
A smiley that is not quite a fork and almost a spoon.

For this boon we'd be grateful and ever so humble
*whispers*..do you take bribes? ::mutter:: and ::mumble::
As the point of this melodious plod blessedly flees into the night,
I'll gee up my carriage and pull the reins tight:
On Dancer on Donner on Donder and Blitzen...I could have sworn I started this rhyme for a reason.

So roll out the barrels and un-plug the corks
Merry Christmas to you all and god bless the

Clive

put whata away? i am not sure what u mean parrferris.
oh and nice x-mas piese there clive,

*rapturous applause to Clive*

If that doesn't work I don't know what will Clive!


*bounce*

*bounce*

Don't worry eris I wouldn't dream of taking your space hopper!

*bow* ~Grin~

Are you entering for the Turner Prize Clive?

You might do very well indeed !

if i was a betting man, i'd put my monsey on that.

*bounce*

*sneeze*



*bounce*

*snooze*

Bravo Clive, as a reward for your pen/keyboard-manship I'll give you a back massage when you get back to Hull

*potters past looking for her box of tissues as she seems to have mislaid them somewhere and she knows she'll need to blow her nose in a minute*

my gauntlet has a built in tissue despencer for those fighting days when i am sick u can use my spare.
*passes eris spare gauntlet*
just press the BLUE buttin 4 tissue, NOT the RED one, thats a nitroglicerin pellit launcher, handy for those descrete blowing up of the rears when someone is sitting down.

Thank you sir

always willing to help a lady in distress.

Haha-- Clive, lovely poem.

That's a wonderful poem your Warlordship! Brought a tear to my eye! If the smiley team can ignore that plea then they are heartless, soulless beasts from the nether regions!

Joining in the pro-spork parade, especially enthused by the poetry

if this keeps up, Clive will wind up being the resident poet and not
ME ! oh well, at least i wouldn't have to worry about how to speak EVERY WORD in rhyme.

Yeah, how's the not rhyming thing going anyway? Getting withdrawal symptoms yet? Or finding how easy it is to talk without all that rhyming?
*s off on an unremarkable looking blue spacehopper*

not yet PS, but this normal speech is so..........
unimaginative, how can u guys stand it all the time?
i can do it easy enough, but it's sooooo DULL!

Maybe you could go for biblical prose stylings instead? Kind of "And I Giga pronounce on this day that fropm this day henceforward, and hence all those who henceforth shall hencely hear this shall not be quite sure of the whereabouts of their hences......"