Observations on the Odd Behaviour of Homo Sapiens in Recent Timeframes, Problems With the Planet, and the Relevance of Guinness
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
I have been present as an observer upon Earth for a time period of approximately 22 years now, measured as the Earthlings do in revolutions of the Earth around the Sun, and I cannot help but notice that the behaviour of the Earthlings seems to be becoming increasingly erratic, unpredictable, and simply downright odd.
To be quite frank about the matter, it seems that the precise point at which one observes an earthling being logical in its behavioural patterns is also, coincidentally, the precise moment at which one should seize one's testicles firmly and run like the wind, for the earthling in question is no doubt just about to blow itself up, cut another earthling's head off, or something of the like. So: If a human is making sense, RUN! If a human is not making sense, RUN! Basically, all any reasonable being on this planet can do is run, and keep running until hopefully a spaceship stops and picks him / her / it up, or until the being in question reaches a suitable pub and is able to ingest, inhale, or otherwise imbibe enough intoxicating substances to place the being on approximately the same level as the average human being.
When people such as Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and
any televangelist you'd care to name are allowed to exist on this planet, one may be sure that the Earth is, in fact, going to hell in a handbasket. Any reasonable human being would have dumped people like this into the nearest black hole ages ago... Along, of course, with the vast majority of Texans, Californians, and the current President of the United States.
But no one has done that, because the majority of all humans, whether they would like to admit it or not, are exactly alike all of the above mentioned people: They are fanatical, ruthlessly critical of anyone not agreeing with them, horribly ignorant of anything that might upset their delicate little 'the world is me' viewpoints, and basically, they all have their heads up their tight little bungholes.
This is why the Earth is degrading so rapidly. This is why there is a hole in the ozone layer that has been fairly recently noted as being the approximate size of the U.S. Now, of course, the size of the hole does not remain a constant, so it is not always that horrendously huge, but that is not the point. The point is, to paraphrase a somewhat obscure comedian: "We have duct tape, saran wrap, and rockets. Why the hell aren't we up there FIXING this?" Well, because it is not '"economically feasible"' to fix it. Or, in short, because of that bit about the heads and the bungholes, and the proximity thereof.
This is why there are no longer enough forests on the planet to recirculate the oxygen that we all depend on. This is why there is no longer enough plankton &etc. in the oceans to keep the waters clean. This is why there is acid rain, terrible toxins in our drinking water, in our air, and in the earth we depend on for our homes, our food, and our play.
But here is the real tinkler of it all: the Earth and its numerous societies as a whole have the technology, the expertise, the manpower, and the monetary means to FIX all of the above named problems. The catch? The Earth as a WHOLE.
We can no longer afford to think of ourselves as separate entities from one another. There can no longer be 'Americans' and 'Japanese' and 'Russians' and 'Australians' and 'black' people and 'white' people and 'brown' people and on and on and on. When this planet finally gives up on all the puny little monkeys running all over its surface and kicks the really BIG bucket, we all die, and that's when we'll finally realize the most important thing of all: WE ARE ALL EARTHLINGS.
Granted, some of us might be able to flag down a passing spaceship, but these days even that's a shot in the dark, seeing as how most of the ships have stopped coming around here, because it's such a pitiful and disturbing sight to any civilized race to see the monkeys killing a planet.
So... You may be asking yourself, gentle reader, what the hell the point of all this is, other than to depress the hell out of you and make you really really wish you had a big fat Guinness in your hand.
The answer is NOTHING. That was the point. This is reality, and yes, it is depressing, and yes, it does seem that a big fat Guinness is the only immediate solution. But think on this, my friends: We are all on this planet together. We are all dying with this planet. Together. We CAN fix this planet, but we have to do it TOGETHER, and we MUST do it! Stop hating your neighbor and start writing your respective governments. We MUST ACT!
Either that, or just go buy stock in Guinness.
Hee hee!
To be quite frank about the matter, it seems that the precise point at which one observes an earthling being logical in its behavioural patterns is also, coincidentally, the precise moment at which one should seize one's testicles firmly and run like the wind, for the earthling in question is no doubt just about to blow itself up, cut another earthling's head off, or something of the like. So: If a human is making sense, RUN! If a human is not making sense, RUN! Basically, all any reasonable being on this planet can do is run, and keep running until hopefully a spaceship stops and picks him / her / it up, or until the being in question reaches a suitable pub and is able to ingest, inhale, or otherwise imbibe enough intoxicating substances to place the being on approximately the same level as the average human being.
When people such as Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and
any televangelist you'd care to name are allowed to exist on this planet, one may be sure that the Earth is, in fact, going to hell in a handbasket. Any reasonable human being would have dumped people like this into the nearest black hole ages ago... Along, of course, with the vast majority of Texans, Californians, and the current President of the United States.
But no one has done that, because the majority of all humans, whether they would like to admit it or not, are exactly alike all of the above mentioned people: They are fanatical, ruthlessly critical of anyone not agreeing with them, horribly ignorant of anything that might upset their delicate little 'the world is me' viewpoints, and basically, they all have their heads up their tight little bungholes.
This is why the Earth is degrading so rapidly. This is why there is a hole in the ozone layer that has been fairly recently noted as being the approximate size of the U.S. Now, of course, the size of the hole does not remain a constant, so it is not always that horrendously huge, but that is not the point. The point is, to paraphrase a somewhat obscure comedian: "We have duct tape, saran wrap, and rockets. Why the hell aren't we up there FIXING this?" Well, because it is not '"economically feasible"' to fix it. Or, in short, because of that bit about the heads and the bungholes, and the proximity thereof.
This is why there are no longer enough forests on the planet to recirculate the oxygen that we all depend on. This is why there is no longer enough plankton &etc. in the oceans to keep the waters clean. This is why there is acid rain, terrible toxins in our drinking water, in our air, and in the earth we depend on for our homes, our food, and our play.
But here is the real tinkler of it all: the Earth and its numerous societies as a whole have the technology, the expertise, the manpower, and the monetary means to FIX all of the above named problems. The catch? The Earth as a WHOLE.
We can no longer afford to think of ourselves as separate entities from one another. There can no longer be 'Americans' and 'Japanese' and 'Russians' and 'Australians' and 'black' people and 'white' people and 'brown' people and on and on and on. When this planet finally gives up on all the puny little monkeys running all over its surface and kicks the really BIG bucket, we all die, and that's when we'll finally realize the most important thing of all: WE ARE ALL EARTHLINGS.
Granted, some of us might be able to flag down a passing spaceship, but these days even that's a shot in the dark, seeing as how most of the ships have stopped coming around here, because it's such a pitiful and disturbing sight to any civilized race to see the monkeys killing a planet.
So... You may be asking yourself, gentle reader, what the hell the point of all this is, other than to depress the hell out of you and make you really really wish you had a big fat Guinness in your hand.
The answer is NOTHING. That was the point. This is reality, and yes, it is depressing, and yes, it does seem that a big fat Guinness is the only immediate solution. But think on this, my friends: We are all on this planet together. We are all dying with this planet. Together. We CAN fix this planet, but we have to do it TOGETHER, and we MUST do it! Stop hating your neighbor and start writing your respective governments. We MUST ACT!
Either that, or just go buy stock in Guinness.
Hee hee!
