h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would capitalise it when you say the whole name ie African Dwarf Crocodiles, but leave it in lower case when you are talking about the dwarf crocodiles in General.

Entry: The African Dwarf Crocodile - A64268977
Author: Willem - U168712

Page turner: For ease of page loading

Thanks for catching that @ndash Lanzababy!

I've also done the capitalisation and de-capitalisation (but without actually harming any crocodiles!) per your suggestion.

As for relevant links ... yes, thanks I would appreciate suggestions, I'll be searching on the 'web' myself as well.

I'll work on a picture over the weekend.

Thanks again!

Okey dokey. Just to let you know I don't tend to review spelling/grammar until I'm sure the content is okay. If your use of grammar makes a sentence unclear though, I'll point that out. I will make a few general comments though:

The problem with writing ... is that its usual meaning is that you have quoted something and missed out a chunk (the ... replaces the missing text). If you are indicating a pause, a comma will do just as well, or even a hypen. I'm not saying it must be changed (that will be up to the Sub) but I'm hoping to explain why some people (myself included) find the use of ... in a sentence weird to read.

Starting a paragraph with the words: But, And, Also, Still, After all, and Indeed can be confusing, as usually they are responses to a previous statement, not words that start a whole new topic.
Whilst it can sometimes be fine to break rules, if you break them more than a couple of times it can become confusing for the reader.

In this context it feels like you are trying to relate what you're about to say with what you've just said. Sometimes it works (you are trying to join them) and sometimes it doesn't. This Entry might benefit from a comb through for you to decide if you want to link them together or not. Usually you can just drop that word.

Onto the review!

-----

"The Dwarf Crocodile is more heavily built.."
- more heavily built than what? The Water Monitor or the Nile Crocodile?

"Some Dwarf Crocodiles (the main species, or subspecies)..."
- I don't understand what you mean in the brackets. Do you mean the 'main' species, as in, just one of the three groups you talked about before? Or are you trying to include all three?

-If you mean just one subspecies you will have to reword this. Perhaps:
"... Crocodiles (the [most numerous] of the subspecies)..." where the word numerous is replaced with whatever word makes sense (they might be the biggest, or heaviest, or most longest-lived or whatever - the feature makes them become the 'main' subspecies over the other two).

-If you mean it as all of them you don't need the brackets as earlier you said that, for the moment, they are considered one species.

In the article you mention that Dwarf Crocodiles have a snub-nosed appearnce. Later you then say that some have snub-noses and some have downturned noses. In the first instance you may want to say that *some* Dwarf Crocodiles have snub noses, or merge these two paragraphs together as they are both talking about what they look like.

"Glabal climate change...and many other species."
-I don't think this paragraph is needed, as it is talking about disrupting human culture, rather than the habitat of the crocodile which you cover well in the paragraph before and after this one.

Finally, you're right - I've looked at some of the pictures and they are rather cute!

OK just in case anyone's confused I replaced the remaining ellipses with en dashes.

As for starting paragraphs with 'But', 'And' and so forth ... many of the paragraphs do speak further about ideas or themes continued from previous paragraphs ... I've tried to keep the individual paragraphs short, for the sake of easier reading. But OK, I removed or replaced some of those words, and at the start, combined two of the paragraphs into one.

Now to the content:

- more heavily built than the water monitor - changed.

- the next one is tough, because of it not being clear whether this is one species or three. What I mean by 'main' form is the one that is known best, and that carries the main name of the species and also subspecies, if there are any. The most well-known and therefore main, and name-carrying, African Dwarf Crocodile is the West African form, and would be called either Osteolaemus tetraspis (one species, out of three species), or Osteolaemus tetraspis tetraspis (one subspecies, out of three subspecies). The less well-known one occurs in the Congo Basin and is called either Osteolaemus osborni (again, one species out of three), or Osteolaeumus tetraspis osborni (again, one subspecies out of three). As for the third one ... whether species or subspecies, it has not received an official name yet, and neither has it been formally described.

I think it might be best to sidestep the problem of trying to explain all this to the reader, by not talking about species or subspecies, or about names or classification, but simply about 'forms'. I've modified the paragraph accordingly ... how is it now?

'Apart from the small size, 'cute' appearance, and heavy armour of these crocodiles, they are also usually rather darker in colour than other African crocodiles. Adults may be almost uniformly blackish; younger animals have lighter brown banding on the sides, and yellow patterning on the head. The well-known, West African form has a more prominently pointed and upturned snout, lighter body colour, and heavier bony armour, than the form that inhabits the Congo Basin. The third form, though indicated by genetic studies, has not yet been formally described.'

I have removed the term 'downturned' because looking back at my sources, it would seem downturned/upturned are relative terms rather than absolute ... rather than having a downturned snout, the Congo Basin form merely has a *less upturned* snout. I've changed this and incorporated it into the paragraph above.

The significance of mentioning the effects of global climate change on human society, is this: Dwarf Crocodiles on Earth currently exist in two groups - those in the wild, and those in zoos and crocodile breeding centres. If only one of these groups is exterminated by climate change, then the species still exists. If both of them are exterminated by climate change, then the species is totally extinct. I wanted to point out that the effects of climate change on human society could have a major impact on non-human species by disrupting our conservation efforts on their behalf. Might I try rephrasing this to make it clearer?

Thanks again for the comments and suggestions!

OK I've completed the painting of the dwarf crocodile, it's here:

http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/2302256420103203115WniYxu

How do I get it into the entry?

Any more comments on the contents?

I don't know the answer - but I will ask the sub-editors for you -

It's a wonderful painting - such a friendly expression! I love it

I'll send it off to the Eds

Thanks GB!

I've alerted the Eds, but I couldn't copy the pic from that webpage. I have to log off now, but Willem may have to email a jpeg version of his painting to the Eds direct. They will probably post here if they need it that way.

back @lanzababy

OK the Eds have worked their

A64268977

Oh, that's lovely!

Amazing - thanks so much GB and the Eds.

Thanks GB, Eds and everybody!

Now what do I still have to do to get this finished?

I think you just have to sit tight and wait for a Scout ( whose turn it is to make a selection ) to come along and decide it is ready to be recommended.

In the meantime, others may still read and offer comments - but as far as I am concerned this is damn fine work Willem! Thank you!

Lanzababy

You're welcome

Looking good!

Willem, sorry for the slight delay on this. Your Entry - and your picture!! - are great. Very happy indeed to get this into the Edited Guide. Congratulations.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!