The Thing
Created | Updated May 27, 2003
Heading south on I-10
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from Phoenix, Arizona, and shortly after passing the town of Eloy, one begins to see large yellow billboards on the side of the road that read, in giant blue letters, "The Thing?". These signs, which continue appearing as the I-10 runs through Tucson and past the turnoff for Sierra Vista, encourage drivers to come and look at "The Thing", wonder "What is It?", and of course stop at the obligatory gift shop.
A Gimmick
More than anything, The Thing is a marketing device. This peaking of interest by simply repeating the same billboard
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over and over again has kept a small Arizona truckstop near the New Mexican boarder alive and well for decades.
Taking the turnoff cited at the bottom of the signs a visitor is presented with a Dairy Queen, a gas station, and a large giftshop. The shop's sign with its familiar yellow and blue lettering indicates that this, indeed, is where The Thing is to be seen. Inside are the kinds of quasi-Native American and faux-cowboy trinkets, souveneirs, and t-shirts that one would expect from a gift shop anywhere in the Grand Canyon State of Arizona. However, none of these have anything whatsoever to do with The Thing.
The Tour
A door at the back of the building sports a sign informing visitors that they must pay the cashier one American dollar before stepping through to view The Thing. After walking through the door
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patrons find themselves outside in the blinding sun. Yellow footprints have been painted on the sidewalk to lead people through the exhibits. The path makes its way into a longish, barn-like building that contains many "exhibits": rusted old cars and farming equipment with signs above them saying when they were produced and what they were used for, a "one of a kind" collections of not-quite-life-sized wooden figures demonstrating different kinds of medieval tortures, and one slightly nicer car with dummies sitting in it. This last one, the sign claims, was rumoured to have been used by Hitler, "THE THING is, no one can prove it." None of these, however, are The Thing.
Out the other door the footsteps lead, and into another barn with more exhibits that are not The Thing. Old rifles, some of which the signs claim are "rare" or "one of a kind", line the walls. Finally the sidewalk leads outside again and into a third building, and there it is, lying before you: The Thing.
What is It?
The sign above the glass case reads "The Thing: What is it?". No other explaination is given. Most people over the age of 4 could tell you what it is. Where it came from, what culture made it, and when are not readily evident, but neither are they explained by anything at this roadside attraction. There are other exhibits in the room with The Thing, but it would be hard to believe that anyone would be genuinely interested in them after the disappointment, the humiliation, and the realization that he
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has just wasted one dollar and ten minutes of his life.
What realy is amazing is that for at least half a century
The Thing has been able to keep visitors coming to this middle-of-nowhere truckstop. It pulls in enough revenue every year to allow the owners to keep up the billboards that advertise the attraction. No one is safe from the curiosity
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.
Interstate 10
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Or similar billbaords.
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Which is made up to look like a cave entrance, seeming to imply that the room beyond is dark and creepy.
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By using the word "he" this article by no means intends to imply that women are not just as liable to be disappointed by The Thing, though perhaps they may be smart enough not to view it in the first place.
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Oh, you wanted to know what The Thing is? You'll have to pay a dollar to see it, just like I did.
