Everything you ever wanted to know about ironing a shirt but were afraid to ask
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The Scenario
Imagine the scenario. Your alarm clock wakes you from a deep, relaxing sleep. After several minutes of aimless groping you eventually find the raucous timepiece and proceed to beat the living daylights out of it until peace and quiet are restored.
You haul yourself or roll if you prefer out of bed and proceed with
your normal morning routine only to discover that your last remaining
ironed shirt has fallen to the floor and been used as bedding by your
cat, dog or hamster1.
You now have a choice, you can either brush off the hairs from the
fallen shirt and hope nobody will notice you look like a crumpled sock, or you can take one of those freshly washed shirts from the laundry basket2 and iron it.
The Equipment
You will require a freshly washed shirt; colour of your own choosing
but make sure it is fresh. There is nothing worse than the smell of a stale ironed shirt. Don´t do it. Give your friends and family a break. You will also need an iron, electric is good but one of those large chunks of steel you heat up on the fire will do at a pinch. You can even use a teapot in an emergency but only if you clean the outside first and it’s full of freshly brewed tea3. For best results you should really use a steam iron and iron when your shirt is still slightly damp. The final piece of equipment is perhaps the most important. You will need a good quality ironing board with a solid surface, none of that cheap plastic mesh nonsense that leaves little crosses burned into your shirt.
The safety precautions
Irons are hot. If you feel uncomfortable using a hot iron try a few
practice glides with it switched off. Once this has been mastered try
using it with the power turned on and the iron set to a low
temperature. Gradually increase the heat until you are comfortable and feel your are ready to tackle that shirt.
Ironing boards are dangerous and should be erected by a qualified
erecting person.
If your iron falls off the board, do not try and catch it before it
hits the floor. This is foolish and will result in loss of temper,
much swearing and a nasty burn.
Do not iron where small children are playing near by. They have a
habit of going for the cable and pulling the iron on top of themselves resulting in a trip to casualty and your house burning to the ground because you forgot to switch off the iron. A playpen for the offending child is ideal for this situation.
Do not iron in the nude.
The Business
| 1 | Make sure all the buttons are undone. |
| 2 | Check the label on your shirt and select the required temperature. The label will have a picture of an iron and a number of dots. The more dots, the hotter the iron. |
| 3 | Start with the cuff of one sleeve. Glide that iron back and forth, back and forth, up and down, in and out. Round and round. Oh yes! |
| 4 | Using the same sleeve fold the shirt so the bottom seam of the sleeve is nearest to you and the upper portion of the sleeve from the shoulder to the cuff is flat against the board. This will give you a nice crisp crease down your sleeve. |
| 5 | Turn the whole shirt over keeping the sleeve taught and iron the reverse side as in step 4. |
| 6 | Now iron the collar. To do this, unfold the collar and turn the shirt so the back is facing you. Once done, fold the collar back to the original position. |
| 7 | Next we will iron the shoulder section. Pull the shoulder onto the pointy end (Technical term) of the board. The shoulder panel should be flat against the board and you will be able to iron half of the panel behind the collar. |
| 8 | Turn the shirt around and iron the other shoulder as in step 7. |
| 9 | Place the shift on the board, collar at the pointy end, sleeves hanging over opposite sides, bottom of shirt towards bottom of board. Iron the back of your shirt. You will have to move the shirt around the board from side to side to get into all of the corners. |
| 10 | Take the shirt off the board and iron the side without buttons. Do this by placing the shirt back onto the board with the collar at the pointy end and the buttonholes nearest you. Again you will have to adjust the position of the shirt as you go. |
| 11 | Last stage. Remove the shirt and turn it over so the collar is again at the pointy end and the buttons are on the opposite side of the board. Work the iron between the buttons until all of those creases have gone. |
| As mentioned above, for best results you should use a steam iron. Some steam constantly and others steam when you press a button. Some spray water others don´t. An alternative is to get one of those water spray doobries4 from a garden centre and fill it with water. When the going gets tough just spray some water on the shirt and iron your little heart out. |
The result
You should have a perfectly ironed shirt, crisp, clean and ready to go. If instead, you are holding an item that looks like an origami
chicken, try again unless you are indeed a chicken in which case it
will be a perfect fit.
Slip it on and feel that warm polyester against your skin or vest.
Step out into the world content in the knowledge that you are now the
proud owner of a pressed shirt.
that has no immediate description.
