h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nasty UCAS forms again...

Congratulations, everyone. Now distribute yourselves at random around the country...

(needs smiley>

Well, if you say so...

Peregrin, does your knife have a "slice 'n' dice" feature?

Why would that be necessary?

So that I can fit into all the little packages I shall distribute randomly around the country...

Fair enough. I'd rather go in one piece myself, and then move on to the next place...

Oh! What a GREAT idea!

But... oh, I guess this leg'll have to come seperately, unless...

Um, anyone good at stitching? Fast?

Hmm... I can deal with the leg up at Durham if you want. Send it to Cuths and I will ask them to forward it for me.

Do you want a cross-stiched pattern or one of french knots?

Actually I was kinda hoping you could sew it back on - it ain't half inconvenient having to hop around carrying it in a plastic bag.

I'll do it for you. I've always wanted to be a doctor. And I would have been, if it wasn't for those poncy idiots the medical enquiry board. You would have thought they'd overlook bribes but nooooooo, they're convinced that you need a bit of paper to show that you're a doctor, and a photocopy won't do no matter how much you threaten them. And all those police enquiries stopping me make any progress, most annoying. I mean, you would have thought that the nation would have allowed the odd live human dissection in the name of science but it seems that nobody has any room for error nowadays. I mean, removing somebody's brain instead of their appendix must be a common enough mistake, and anyway it's far more interesting. Stupid ignorant swines and their boring accepted medical practices.

Hello everyone.

I got my AS results , but there's another year of school to go yet .

hello everyone.I'm here in ireland,so we got our leaving cert results on the 15th,but can I still join

I don't see why not. Have a piece of .

Right - what is everyone doing/intending to do with their results?

*gasp* Not Cake?! You're giving out drugs, and you're not even at Uni yet!

The shame!

I'm about to write a new section on my User Page saying what I intend to do. I'll let you peeps know when it's up!

(probably never)

Big Mad "never finishes thing he starts" Mr

Man. I've just written some stuff about what I intend to be doing, Uni-wise - check "oot" http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A619139 .

*realises he's been swamping the conversation*

Oops, sorry! Is everyone nice and calm?

I'll have you know it's a perfectly innocent sponge cake, Mr T - I've seen the effects of Amsterdam's 'Special Cake' on some friends of mine, and it's not a pretty sight (though quite amusing)...

As for me, I'm (most likely) reapplying to do English Literature, because Oxford spurned me last year, and probably shall again, but then I'm a fool. Unless of course someone can produce an argument sufficiently convincing to persuade me to do Fine Art.

Is it true that some of the best art courses can take five years? You could train to be a doctor in that amount of time.

Hmmm... the thing is, for most art courses, a foundation year is mandatory, and then there's the standard three years. Then there's post-grad...