h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Citizan Spade (proposed prologue) - A87752631
Author: K.Bookbinder - U14996210

This is a proposed prologue to the Citizen Spade story I'm working on (see A87752082). I may or may not use it. The goal is to introduce certain ideas and backstory that I may find difficult to introduce in the main narrative - I don't want to leave readers too confused for too long so this might clear some things up in the beginning without giving too much away. Please let me know what you think

This is well-written and gives a good short summary of human history.

The question is whether you need all of it. I don't know that you do, because most of your readers will have some idea of human history. Won't they?

You could just start with Spade reading, possibly about the French man who invented the first programmable machine. You could show him talking to one of the Traders, asking questions. As long as you've established his desire for knowledge, you've given him a motive for leaving for the city.

Keep this, though, in your collection of pieces that you might want to use. You don't need to decide yet whether to use it or not.

This may just be a personal reaction, so please excuse me if that is so.

But I said this last week in regard to Greg's story that started something like 'in the beginning, life evolved in the universe.'

If the scope of the opening paragraph is too large, and if the subject is too theoretical, I will never find out what paragraph 2 says. My brain shuts down. (It thinks it's about to be educated, and runs away. It's lazy like that.)

Now, is this just me? Do most readers of stories not mind this global approach? If so, I'll withdraw my complaint.

I want a hook, even if it's something like.

'The book was long, but interesting. Spade shifted on his hard wooden chair as he sounded out the big words. He'd been reading a long time - pages and pages - but he still hadn't found the answers he was seeking. And he was desperate to know.'

Followed by quote.

Of course, I'd really rather find all this out for myself. And when it becomes relevant - such as when the information is needed. I'd rather start, say, with Spade and his family. Or Spade and the Congregation. (Could you slip some of the info into a sermon?)

Thanks for the comments!

That's exactly my dilemma: how do I introduce the reader to Spade's perspective without being cumbersome and boring. Conversely, how do I avoid too many gaps in the reader's knowledge about Spade's present world. Hence my attempt at the Prologue approach. It's a setup but is it necessary? And if it isn't, can I successfully introduce certain aspects of the story without the use of Flashbacks? I want the reader to stay with spade in the present. Since the story is really about Spade trying to become a Citizen, and not about Spade's life in the Congregation, the present should always be the former and not the latter.

To be honest I wasn't too sure about the prologue to begin with. I've had some positive reaction outside h2g2 (but then only a very few know I'm writing this at all). So any feedback I get here is great! Keep it commin' please

A sermon is not a bad idea, Dmitri. I think I know how I can work that in. Thanks!

I'd say test by whether it's possible to see where Spade is without the information. Don't tell us anything until we're dying to know.