h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: A Stressful 670 Metres - A61636971
Author: Devonseaglass-dsg - U13965605

A brief step into the world.

Y'all don't get snow much, do y'all? This story makes perfect sense from where I now live - the American South - and none at all to my siblings, who live in the Northeast US and say things like, 'It only snowed 2 feet, we can still get around.'

A couple of suggestions:

'The tyres were my only hope, having replaced them a few weeks ago with new ones.' - This is a dangling participle. The tyres didn't replace themselves. Say, 'The tyres were my only hope, as I had replaced them a few weeks ago...'

'Parked just there, waiting to pick up a daughter, from one of her marriages, was Maria, with hazard lights flashing...' - I'd leave out the bit about the daughter being from one of her marriages. It breaks up the flow of the sentence.

I hope you stay warm and dry over there.

Oh - and a tip: Be careful about putting hot water on your car to remove snow and ice. It is possible to shatter your windscreen that way. (A colleague of my father's, unused to cold weather, did just that.)

Use the ice scraper and snow brush. That is what they are for.

Thanks Dmitri.

I've never knowingly dangled a participle, but will take it on trust. Maria's daughter will be expunged.

The secret about using hot water is to use water from the tap (faucet), not boiled water that will cause shattering. It is easy, quick and effective, unlike scrapers, which are a waste of time.

Depends on how cold it is, I guess. I'll stick to the ice scraper.

Hills are horrible in such weather conditions. I feel your pain.
You could ahve taken a trolley and walked, though.

If the ice on the windscreen is at zero degrees and you pour warm water at 50 degrees onto it what will happen? The warm water will melt the ice, and in so doing, will cool to a fraction of its initial temperature. By the time it reaches the glass it will be almost at zero degrees, having lost almost all of its heat in melting the ice. If you delay getting into the car and switching on the wipers the windscreen could begin to freeze over again. The process takes about 30 seconds, even including taking the kettle back to the house, and taking a small sip of cognac. You, and your scraper are still struggling as I race down the next treacherous bend at 2 mph laughing.

B'Elana, I would have liked to have a trolley but I will wait for abject poverty and a winter fuel payment that covers the cost first.

Here are some practical tips:

http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2009/12/07/daily38.html

Actually, I usually use a commercial spray (applied *before* the snowfall) which makes clearing the windows quite easy.

I'm not sure if you meant 0 degrees Fahrenheit or Celsius. That might make a difference. I don't think it usually gets as cold in Britain as it does in the Northeast or Midwest US.

I mean this:

http://www.yagma.de/media/images/popup/832729.jpg

They aren't too expensive here, and I wouldn't know how to make the way through the garage and to the second floor without mine.

Dmitri, I think the Celsius scale for temperature measurement is almost universal. But if I am wrong, I don't care.In my article and comments zero means zero Celsius. Mr Fahrenheit can do a conversion, if he wants to.

Isn't it commonsense that when you mix two substances at different temperatures that the resulting temperature is somewhere between the two? So, if I poured boiling water at 100 degrees Celsius onto a windscreen at minus 10 degrees Celsius that the windscreen will end up at some temperature in between the two? As glass is made at 1600 degrees Celsius would it shatter at around 50 degrees? Not sure, but hasn't happened in the last 40 years for me. Keep scraping, if you want to.

B'Elana, that is a lovely trolley. What are they used for?

You're kidding, surely?

B'Elana, why would I be kidding? I have no idea what this device is used for.

It's your windscreen, do what you like with it.

It's a shopping trolley. Any old biddy here has one. How else would you get the shopping home if you don't own a car?

Dmitri, Thanks, will do.

B'Elana, That seems to be a good idea.

This is vivid and will evoke lots of sympathetic responses. (Though we just walked to the shops, like B'Elana, it's not that far.)

I was taken by the image of the ABS 'making an omelette with chives',

However, in the sentence beginning 'But the bit in between', it's not clear whether it's the whole of the road, the downhill bit, or the uphill bit that is 'expensive in insurance claims'.

Does this end in the right place? I wanted to know what happened next.

Dear minorvogonpoet, I have tried to address your helpful and encouraging comments, and as a result, hope the edits are better than the original.

Sorry, perhaps I was wrong about the end!

From the 'Too late', I had wondered whether the car had ended up in the stream! You might want to leave your readers intrigued by that possibility.

Too late...