h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Dilemma - A59580787
Author: Pheroneous II - U186787

I am after those hairs on the back of your neck.

Great story, You managed to include my beloved TV series of old, even.


Just one thing: we don't actually say 'Denim' here. We may talk about Denim jeans, but a small child would never know the word. It would probably say something like: 'Jeans', or 'Jeansjacke', or maybe even just 'Blau' or 'Blaue Jacke' - depending on its age and on how specific its 'knowledge'.

Nicely done, magical realism.

B'Elana's right about the denim. If you changed your dream-word to 'blau', which is easily looked up, it would be just as effective, I think.

The Frisian islands are a good setting for a creepy story. For one thing, they're like the coast of Cornwall - shipwrecks and dodgy salvage practices...

Modified as suggested. Thanks. It's gone off to the moderators again, though. I don't know why. No doubt it will return soon.

The bug hits again. I've encountered the same problem earlier today. It is a nuisance.

Oh, and I just noticed this:

>>I draw, along with the sketch map of the island, a quick plan of the garden. I write the word “Denim”.<<

Don't you think you should alter that, too?

Thanks, done.

When I first posted this I had a link to the Borkum website. It is an official website, with the webcams. I thought we could put external links to 'proper' sites. Apparently not. It was moderated out.

That's incredible. Did you get an email about it?

Nope. Tell you what, I am going to be naughty and include it here in this post and see what happens. http://www.borkum.de

I've linked to German websites, even in guide entries. Did you take it out yourself, or was it just gone when the entry came back?

You could put it in the reference section, maybe.

It was gone. I'm going to try editing and put it back in.

OK, that seemed to work. Must have been a dream!!

It wasn't essential, but it helps to involve the reader. He/she could even go to the site, find the webcam and see the "bungalow". Makes it more real maybe.

This looks good, link and all.

I think the word 'blau' helps the story, and adds to the ambience.

This is definitely creepy and disturbing. The blend of the realistic and the dreamlike works well.

I am not sure if you need the paragraph beginning "The policewoman remained disturbed". It breaks the flow of P's account of his visit to the island and it doesn't add that much.

Thanks, as usual, MVP.

Hmm... What I was trying to do was to bring three threads together, i.e. The Dream, P's reaction to the dream and "real life", which is why the policewoman is there. (Also to provide the little girl) So, it would seem to be a bit clunky. I'll see if I can work on it later.

Oh, yes. Three parts to the dream, three threads to the story. Like that.

Creepy, not what i needed with my room blacked out and a feezing breeze from my window.

- but that simply shows that it is an excellant piece.

Well done, looks good as it is.

Wallander country, in a manner of speaking!

Up a bit and right a bit, if I'm not mistaken!!