h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Has anyone ever ONCE wanted any of the selections these messages offer? Has anyone ever tried to call their ISP and got a long message
telling him/her how to access their tech people via web or e-mail, when he was calling to complain that said web/e-mail was not working? We usually get the choice of language, then we have to push a button if we have a 'touch' phone (how else did we select the language?) and then we get a list of choices: are you a dealer (press or say 'one') a buyer (press or say 'two'), etc - NEVER getting to a site for a customer who was billed twice. No matter what your problem, you can bet that option will not be offered.
By the way - a hint if you have a complaint and get put on hold forever. Think of which option might make THEM money, and select that - you get quick service and although they are not the right selection, SOMETIMES they will patch you thru to a real number to get your problem fixed - after all, the whole point is not to have to talk to you. For instance, when I wanted to call a credit-checking company to find how to correct certain entries that were wrong, I got put on hold for the rest of time - but I called again and selected the option for merchants checking on credit (they PAY!) and got thru immediately then switched to the person I REALLY wanted in no time. Even if you DON't get put thru - at least you have annoyed someone there at least a fraction of the amount they are annoying you!

I've heard that if you want to speak to a human (what a concept), don't play the button pushing game! Pretend that you have a rotary dial... I've never tried it myself, but it makes sense to me. (Of course, that probably guarantees that it's wrong)