h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ermm..*clears throat*, excuse me...sir, do you have any jobs going?
RedWills

Hmm... I think you'll find the wages better over at the Capitalist Shop http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A598953 . Please feel free to pop over, and we'll give you an interview.

We also have a much greater variety of stuff for sale, and given the generous staff discount, I'm sure you'll appreciate the better conditions and superb benefits package that we offer.

Thanks!

I'm sorry but I was born on a soapbox and I'll die on a soapbox..??
You can take your job and...give it to someone else.
Warmest Regards
RedWills-Lover, hater, masterb..err..friend

You're after a job then? Well, I could do with someone to sweep up, organise the queues and check off the deliveries. (Not much effort involved there as Central Government would *never* make an error in the allocation of stock!) Those Capitalist scum from The Capitalist Shop are often on the make for their sickening black market profiteering! They need watching closely...

I'm glad to see that your head wasn't turned by their offer of a life of ease and luxury. How can we achieve greatness if we all wanted choice and freedom? Bah! Turns my stomach!

The position is yours whenever you'd like to start Comrade!



Monday morning 0600 sharp and don't forget to provide your own overalls! You're on a 3 years trial and employment can be terminated by Glorious Day Stores at a moments notice!

I find your offer to be very fair. I look forward to working with you! I have a nice pair of red overalls as it happens..
*salutes*
Thank you, I won't let you down!

Curses!

Now I'll have to find someone else to exploi... I mean, 'employ' in my capitalist venture.

Umm... you don't fancy investing in some shares instead?

I've made my choice of who I wish to be exp..I mean employed by. I'm sorry, this is the end of the matter. Do pop by my hotel for a coffee though. Maybe we can come to some other kind of agreement? Money-wise I mean..

You won't have much time for gallivanting, comrade. We have a big delivery of broom handles arriving on Monday and I'll expect them to be sorted and graded by 1400.

Welcome on board... Um, and if you'll just fill in this contract and sign for me? The names and addresses of your loved ones? Oh, that's just a formality for governmental reasons. I'd be wary of crossing The Party though!

And you Mr diGriz, go back to your fool's paradise! AND LEAVE MY SLAV... I MEAN STAFF ALONE!!!

*fills in fals..er fine details*
There, all done? Don't worry, I'll get that broom handle job completed. I am an insomniac you know? I work all day and all night. This job is only part time?