h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For weeks I am very "busy", very unrest and getting very late to bed. Around 4 o’clock in the morning.

Now I "know". That xxxxxxx birthday of mine this month.
I was suddenly back in time, when I realized it. Back in time, being a chi

I felt strong feelings of neglecting, misusing, feeling unseen, stupid, and being bullied.

The "truth” or "facts" are of no importance. I still feel attracted to look through the eyes of the family at me, while the only thing that really counts are my very own experiences and feelings without any "discussions" with who ever.

I feel a complete looser and I do respect that feeling. Not as a second home, but as a starting point to get out and I know I have already achieved in that by raising four daughters, social worker,
divorce in a very decent way, helping people, writing stories and making paintings, working in a childercircus,inspiring others and supporting their spirits, "digest" a lot of my own history, although it doesn't feel like it these weeks.

I feel like a complete looser and I only can overcome that feeling to respect it and come nearer to it and make a start from it.
I already did, but that doesn't mean things have to be done twice, partially or maybe everything. Depends of who I am.

I'm glad that Lennon himself made a song about it