h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I thought WWF was the World Wildlife Fund... which, thinking about it, could lead to some rather interesting wrestling matches. Who would fight an orangutan that can waily rip a mans arm off and then use it as a weapon?

If WWF is World Wildlife Fund, then:
NWO: National Wusses Order
WCW: World Cult of Wimps

The only wrestling I was ever interested in was wresting my pocket money back from my theiving brother!

Sounds like of one of my friend's brother. Only he beats him up for it.

Also, I don't watch wrestling. I just wanted to make fun of it.

Well, there's nothing wrong with making fun of something. Just as long as whatever it is you're making fun of a)isn't bigger and meaner than you and b)can't run faster than you.

OK then, so you're saying making fun of wrestelers is bad? What are they going to do, chase me down and jump-repeatedly-on me?

I didn't say anything of the sort. Making fun of wrestlers is of course fine, just as long as you're well out if reach! .

There are no wrestlers in town, although there is that one big, muscular guy with a shiny belt who moved in next door...

Our next door neighbour is about a hundred years old and potters around the garden all day rearranging his gnomes.

Do this:
Walk up to him Say: "So, what happened in 1899?" See what he says and report back to me.

I wouldn't want to shock him by trying to talk to him. Poor old fella would have a heart attack. I think he likes his Gnomes because they don't talk back!

"Why, hello, Gnome. How are you?"
""
"That's nice."