A Conversation for AS's or The Devil Vomits On My Eiderdown Once Again

Hear Hear

Post 1

E G Mel

I was lucky enough to finish before they brought in the new exams, but when I heard about them I thought they were going to be a bad idea, but no-one listens to the students. smiley - sadface

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 2

Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned

It's all part of a government plot to bring back the working class of the nineteenth century. No really, hear me out.

1. Remove student grants -- discourages people from going to university.

2. Introduce more exams (yours in England, Higher Still in Scotland and those primary school tests of the Major years was it?) -- discourages people from staying on at high school.

3. People with low levels of education are statistically likely to have several children, while couples with a high level (degree and above) are more likely to have one or no children -- this means that within a hundred years the educated middle class will have halved while the uneducated working class will have doubled.

4. A secret government research laboratory in Kent is breeding a new strain of pit ponies which glow in the dark -- the first step in a programme to undo the industrial revolution and return to manual labour.

5. Leading civil servants are now allowed to call themselves Squire and if a new bill passes through the House of Lords unchallenged (and it will) male MPs will have prima nocta rights to all women marrying in their constituencies.

All things considered, these facts indicate that the government wants you to be stupid.

--David, who can also be expressed numerically


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Post 3

E G Mel

Not while I've still got a chance.... smiley - grr

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 4

Uncle Heavy [sic]

the revolution starts here!


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Post 5

E G Mel

Ok then, bets as to how long the new exams will last, I give them a max of 3 years! smiley - winkeye

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 6

Uncle Heavy [sic]

til next year.


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Post 7

E G Mel

Ohhh Harsh!

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 8

Uncle Heavy [sic]

but fair, i think


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Post 9

E G Mel

Possibly though that would mean admitting defeat!

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 10

Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned

Just heard on the news -- they're being scrapped. Ho ho.

-- David, carrying a ministry in his pocket


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Post 11

E G Mel

Wohoo!

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 12

Uncle Heavy [sic]

did either of you do them?

and not wohoo. damn, cos we'll be cut adrift with useless qualifications.


Hear Hear

Post 13

Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned

No, I'm north of the border and just going into 4th year at university. So I missed both the time and the location.

-- David, in the desert on a sloth with no name


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Post 14

E G Mel

I finished My Alevels last year, and you're not cut adrift with usless qualifications, everone is in the same boat, they'll sort it all out!

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 15

Uncle Heavy [sic]

everyone in my year. tha leaves everybody wo isnt my year to hae al the sccess.

smiley - wah


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Post 16

E G Mel

I doubt it youll all be going to uni at about the same time, except for strange people like me!

After uni, people don't worry what you got in your A Levels

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 17

Uncle Heavy [sic]

hmm. i still have to get into uni. (oxford?)


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Post 18

E G Mel

They didn't want me smiley - sadface Shame it would have been nice to turn them down, and you know what I think I really would have. They are certainly not the best for Elec Eng!

Mel smiley - hsif


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Post 19

Uncle Heavy [sic]

electrical engineering?
theyll probably turn me down, cos im giving up a subject and did french a year early. to make sure they dont, im gonna have to do the equivalent of french and english S levels too. arg!


Hear Hear

Post 20

Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned

French is a dead language. Who speaks French any more? Oh sure, the Swiss, but who else?

-- David, in search of meaning, down the pub


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