A Conversation for AS's or The Devil Vomits On My Eiderdown Once Again
-
- 1
- 2
-
Hear Hear
E G Mel Started conversation Jun 28, 2001
I was lucky enough to finish before they brought in the new exams, but when I heard about them I thought they were going to be a bad idea, but no-one listens to the students. 
Mel 
Hear Hear
Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned Posted Jun 28, 2001
It's all part of a government plot to bring back the working class of the nineteenth century. No really, hear me out.
1. Remove student grants -- discourages people from going to university.
2. Introduce more exams (yours in England, Higher Still in Scotland and those primary school tests of the Major years was it?) -- discourages people from staying on at high school.
3. People with low levels of education are statistically likely to have several children, while couples with a high level (degree and above) are more likely to have one or no children -- this means that within a hundred years the educated middle class will have halved while the uneducated working class will have doubled.
4. A secret government research laboratory in Kent is breeding a new strain of pit ponies which glow in the dark -- the first step in a programme to undo the industrial revolution and return to manual labour.
5. Leading civil servants are now allowed to call themselves Squire and if a new bill passes through the House of Lords unchallenged (and it will) male MPs will have prima nocta rights to all women marrying in their constituencies.
All things considered, these facts indicate that the government wants you to be stupid.
--David, who can also be expressed numerically
Hear Hear
E G Mel Posted Jul 2, 2001
Ok then, bets as to how long the new exams will last, I give them a max of 3 years! 
Mel
Hear Hear
Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned Posted Jul 9, 2001
Just heard on the news -- they're being scrapped. Ho ho.
-- David, carrying a ministry in his pocket
Hear Hear
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Jul 10, 2001
did either of you do them?
and not wohoo. damn, cos we'll be cut adrift with useless qualifications.
Hear Hear
Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned Posted Jul 10, 2001
No, I'm north of the border and just going into 4th year at university. So I missed both the time and the location.
-- David, in the desert on a sloth with no name
Hear Hear
E G Mel Posted Jul 11, 2001
I finished My Alevels last year, and you're not cut adrift with usless qualifications, everone is in the same boat, they'll sort it all out!
Mel
Hear Hear
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Jul 11, 2001
everyone in my year. tha leaves everybody wo isnt my year to hae al the sccess.
Hear Hear
E G Mel Posted Jul 11, 2001
I doubt it youll all be going to uni at about the same time, except for strange people like me!
After uni, people don't worry what you got in your A Levels
Mel
Hear Hear
E G Mel Posted Jul 13, 2001
They didn't want me Shame it would have been nice to turn them down, and you know what I think I really would have. They are certainly not the best for Elec Eng!
Mel
Hear Hear
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Jul 14, 2001
electrical engineering?
theyll probably turn me down, cos im giving up a subject and did french a year early. to make sure they dont, im gonna have to do the equivalent of french and english S levels too. arg!
Hear Hear
Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned Posted Jul 14, 2001
French is a dead language. Who speaks French any more? Oh sure, the Swiss, but who else?
-- David, in search of meaning, down the pub
Key: Complain about this post
-
- 1
- 2
-
Hear Hear
- 1: E G Mel (Jun 28, 2001)
- 2: Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned (Jun 28, 2001)
- 3: E G Mel (Jun 29, 2001)
- 4: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 2, 2001)
- 5: E G Mel (Jul 2, 2001)
- 6: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 3, 2001)
- 7: E G Mel (Jul 5, 2001)
- 8: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 5, 2001)
- 9: E G Mel (Jul 6, 2001)
- 10: Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned (Jul 9, 2001)
- 11: E G Mel (Jul 10, 2001)
- 12: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 10, 2001)
- 13: Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned (Jul 10, 2001)
- 14: E G Mel (Jul 11, 2001)
- 15: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 11, 2001)
- 16: E G Mel (Jul 11, 2001)
- 17: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 11, 2001)
- 18: E G Mel (Jul 13, 2001)
- 19: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Jul 14, 2001)
- 20: Rt. Hon. David F. Porteous, Scottish Researcher, Keeper, Minister and rarely seen member of The Banned (Jul 14, 2001)
More Conversations for AS's or The Devil Vomits On My Eiderdown Once Again
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."