h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

it's amazing what you can learn from an experienced woman.

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For example:

The importance of not mixing your medication
Why carpet in the bathroom is a great idea
How to drive really slowly
Why paying for a few items in the supermarket with pocket change and coupons is the only way to shop
And much, much more!

Melon, i'm on South Oxford Street....let's dance like Eboue

I am CGG, but not by a huge amount if memory serves me correctly.

It was a compliment, for someone as freshfaced and eager as young Joe, a woman of your considerable experience will help him enormously.

?

The main thing you can learn from an experienced woman is that you are probably better off with an inexperienced one........I'll get my coat.

"You should really give older a try Joe, it's amazing what you can learn from an experienced woman."

I was with an older woman once and she taught me plenty of little tricks in the bedroom that I thought would stand me in good stead for future relationships.

Sadly I've never had the opportunity to try out my new found fellatio skills.

Is that an offer

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That very much depends on your marital status. Like I said before, I'm trying to avoid being lynched by an angry mob of women.

There are also other factors that may come into play after I determine whether or not I should be flirting with you. How old ARE you?

"a woman of your considerable experience will help him enormously."

Dear God Eames. Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Melon, i'm on South Oxford Street....let's dance like Eboue

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Actually, you're miles away from them.

Let's dance like Eboue anyway!

What tricks GAR? Stuff like if you grease the zimmer frame before you go to bed you will probably make it to the bathroom in good time in the morning???

I'm 17.

Clearly an acceptable age...!

GAR - she didn't notice

Besides, it was a compliment.

I notice now though that she only chases after the new men - once we've been around a while she gets bored so soon.

"a woman of your considerable experience will help him enormously."

Dear God Eames. Are you trying to get yourself killed?

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I think he is It's getting increasingly difficult to take what he says as a compliment.

Surely greasing a zimmer frame would just be cruel? The poor old dear wouldn't be able to get any purchase on the handles and keep collapsing to the floor. By the time you woke up you'd find a frail old woman curled up in a puddle of her own urine weeping uncontrollably for her lost youth.

Take it with a pinch of salt, then it will be a condiment.

I'm 17

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Dear God! I'm old enough to be your ... Aunty? Not quite your Mother, thankfully.

So ....

Hey Eames, if I forgive you for those thinly-veiled insults, how about we pick up where we left off. I even invented a new smiley for you:

CGG ? ? ?

Im not angry........... you're still the only electronic girl for me.

Take it easy GAR I am on this forum to escape reality!

Ah, my little returns.

Pahhh!

"Take it easy GAR I am on this forum to escape reality!"

Sorry. Just be thankful that I didn't let my diseased little mind take the anecdote to it's, even more disturbing, conclusion.