h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Feluda -- New Generation movies - A57928936
Author: Kaushik Sarkar - U10873021

This is a synopsis on Feluda movies made by Sandip Ray, Satyajit Ray's son and a renowned Bengali film maker. The stories are of course based on Ray Sr.'s stories.

Just to remind myself to return and read your entry carefully, when it is the morning!

Excited to know my articles are read around the globe. Thanks

Hi again !

Unless I'm mistaken you can't use 'my' in Entries, thus I suggest your first paragraph
"This is a sequel to my article Feluda Movies -- Satyajit Ray."
-> (becomes something like) "This Entry is a sequel to the Entry Feluda Movies -- Satyajit Ray. "

2nd para "Sandip Ray announced in late 1990s that he is working..."
-> "Sandip Ray announced in late 1990s that he *was* working..."

3rd para. "the first film..." (start with cap T)
Also, i'm surprised by the use of 'red-tapism': does the term exist? I would have thought 'red-tape- would be easier to understand.

6th para: "rfemote" -> "remote"

7th para; I wonder whether European readers don't need to be reminded that "Kolkata" is the proper name of Calcutta

8th para: "proffesional" -> "professional"
I wonder whether the explanation of "jatras" would be better in a footnote as it hinders the flow of the text here

9th para: " As discussed in the prequel to this article, it was about fake medicine racket." perhaps something along the lines of "As mentioned in the Feluda Movies -- Satyajit Ray entry, it was about *a* fake medicine racket"


"(dring the making of Satyajit Ray Presents)" -> "(during the making of Satyajit Ray Presents)"


That's all for now! I'll read the rest later. Remember, you are the auther, please feel free to disregard any/all suggestions

Me again !

In the para starting "Now, as Satyajit Ray had followed earlier, Sandip Ray too ......" you say "it is a good idea to follow the 'Who-dun-it' format on the television, as there is no chance of repeat viewing." It depends where you live I guess and the availability of 'cable channels' (some of which seem to show only repeats)


"It was the turn for Ghutghutiar Ghatana (Affairs at Ghutghutia), based on Satyajit Ray's story Ghurghutiar Ghatana. Set up in the backdrop of Ghutghutia, a remote village near Kolkata, ....."
"Remote" and "near" in the same descriprion can be a little confusing.
"...It was already filmed once by Bibhas Chakrobortty, ..."
-> "... It had already been filmed once by Bibhas Chakrobortty, ..."
"...The next story in the queue was "Jahangirer Swarnamudra"
Queue? 'series' perhaps [this also occurs in the next paragraph]


"The next story in the queue was "Ambar Sen Antardhan Rahasya" (The Case of the Disappearance of Ambar Sen). The story is set up in the Kolkata, the city of joy...." This is not the first time Kolkata is mentiond but it's the 1st time it's called the city of joy. Is this a nickname or a translation?
"One uniqueness about the story is that it was the only Feluda story published in the children's magazine "Anandamela" as a series....." In my opinion, it seems that it is not a unique aspect of the story but rather of its publishing history.

Last para: " Satyajit Ray's short-stories including those of the Tarini Khuro series and other stories too." 'including' -> 'include'


I hope you don't mind all these comments, I hope they will help you to further mpolish this excellent entry.

Thank you for the feedback and the observations.
They would definitely help me improve the article. I would implement them as much as possible.
As for the cable – well I stay in Kolkata, in the main city, where the cable is of course indispensable, in fact in India, it’s d same in any remote part. I agree with your point. However, the time when these serials were telecasted, a repeat was not so common. And Sandip Ray’s serials hardly come back to air, once they are over. Moreover this was an opinion shared by Ray himself.

City of Joy is an epithet for Kolkata conferred by Dominique Lapierre. Dominique Lapierre was one of the top foreign reporters of the sixties and seventies. You can see the BBC link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1912228.stm

Hi All
I have completed the article. Please provide your views and observations.

Hi again

I've only just realised that the title Baksa Rahasya isn't translated

Hi lanzababy-wondering whether summer is over

I have completed the article. Please go trough it and provide your inpputs and observations

OOps !! had missed out completely !!
Thanks for the vigilance.
I have made the correction.

hello! I like your new nickname by the way! I am very interested in finding out more about Indian film culture, and your article is very helpful in this respect. It is a little confusing though, at the moment, so forgive me if I make some suggestions as to clarification.



Firstly I would remove these two sentences.
This is a sequel to the article Feluda Movies -- Satyajit Ray.

Watch out for the next article, "Feluda Stories by Satyajit Ray". This will have synopsis of filmed and non-filmed Feluda stories.

Once the articles have been accepted into the Edited Guide they will be able to have links made between them. Links can only be made to "Edited Guide" articles. As this conversation thread goes with the finished article to the sub-editor for final adjustments, any links which are needed at that time will not be overlooked.


You write;
>>>>Sandip Ray announced in late 1990s that he was working on a new Feluda movie with new faces for the trio.

You should say exactly who this trio is, at this point.

Feluda {lovers} were curious to know....

I think the word {fans} would sound better here.

Please add {cast as}

>>> who would be {cast as} the next Feluda and the next Jatayu.

ie
[Feluda fans were curious to know who would be cast as the next Feluda and the next Jayayu].

>>>Soumitra Chatterjee and Santosh Dutta {were} perfect for the roles, but Sandip Ray had to look for new faces as Chatterjee {was} too aged for the role and Dutta {was no more}.

Please change to:
Soumitra Chatterjee and Santosh Dutta {had been} perfect for the roles, but {now}Sandip Ray had to look for new faces as Chatterjee {had become}too aged for the role and Dutta {had passed away}.





>>>In the meantime, Soumitra Chatterjee had also shared with the media, that he would no longer play Feluda as he had grown too old for the role.

This sentence is unnecessary as it is a repetition, so you could remove it. If you think you need to say that Chatterjee shared the same opinion with Ray, then you need to construct the sentence differently. For instance

[Soumitra Chatterjee was also of this opinion, and had shared the fact that he would play no more Feluda roles with the media.]




I am very happy to work with you on this series of articles It is probably easier if we make alterations paragraph by paragraph, bringing the text into line with 'BBC English' - rather than a huge lot of suggestions in one go. Looking forward to your reply.

Lanzababy

Thank you for your observations
I will make the neccesary changes and let you know.
Thnx agn...

Hi A. Zanyblab
I have made the suggested changes.

Hi All
I decided to have the prequel to this article merged with the curent one.

Hi Bengal Tiger !

Looked at the expanded version:

(these are just my opinions, others might think differently)

1/ Title and 1st subtitle: I don't think you need to repeat "Feluda Movies". In fact, I wonder about 'movies' as the entry is supposed to be written in British English, perhaps 'films'.

2/ 'literateur' (btw, I'm more familiar with the spelling litterateur) perhaps writer, or eminent/renowned writer (the guide tends to avoid being highbrow), get a 2nd opinion maybe

3/ In the 2nd para., I think you should drop the alias for Feluda (Prodosh Chandra Mitter was mentioned at the top) but explain 'Topshe'; for example "...his cousin Tapesh Ranjan Mitra (*nicknamed* Topshe)..

4/ 3rd para. IMO 'identity theft' is enough, you could drop 'impersonification'

5/ "... The vile Maganlal Meghraj is back and so is Utpal Dutt for the role." I suggest "The vile Maganlal Meghraj is back, again played by Utpal Dutt"

6/ "Samething went for Mohan Agasse" I'm not too keen on this wording although perhaps a sub-edit will help out (or think it's fine as is!). I'd prefer 'There was a similar reaction for Mohan Agasse".

7/ 'FELUDA -- New Generation movies', in this section 'Feluda' comes after Prodosh Chandra Mitter in the aliases which I find a little disconcerting.

8/ The 2nd sentance of the 2nd para of this new section should start with a capital letter. Also I suggest 'red tape' in the singular.

9/ "As mentioned in the first part of the article, it was about a fake medicine racket." In the 1st part, racket is plurial, it's better to be consistant and chose one or the other

10/ "Looked like the role of Jatayu was cursed." -> "*It* looked like..."

11/ "After about a year, mission started to look for a new Jatayu..." Mission?

12/ "..This time it was although the same old wine being served, it was of course in a new bottle." I suggest "This time, although the same old wine was being served, it was of course in a new bottle."

13/ 'Sherock' -> 'Sherlock'

14/ ""Tintorettor Jishu" (Tintoretto's Jishu)" The translation is not provided the 1st time the film is mentioned (and I don't know what Jishu means)

15/ "We also see ____ playing a small role in "Sonar Kella" "
No we don't see him!

Have a good day

Oops, forgot to say that I'd tend to say 'for television' and not 'for the television' and I prefer 'generation' written out in full (that may be an age thing)

Hi Bengal Tiger!

It appears that you have another researcher (not-so-bald-eagle)wanting to assist. So, for the meantime I will withdraw, as it becomes confusing to have more than one point of view regarding grammar and content


I will just go so far as to point out
You write
>>> the first film was a video release -- it was "Baksa Rahasya"

Missing capital letter, remove the { -- }
Quote marks should be single
ie { ' } not double { " }
The brackets around the translation are unnecessary.

Do you mean it was released as a video, and not previously shown either on the television nor at the cinema?

If so, then I suggest

The first production was released directly as a video, it was 'Baksa Rahasya', The Case of the Swapped Suitcases.

You write

>>>>> It was supposed to be {telecasted} on 2nd May {MISSING YEAR} as it was Satyajit Ray's birthday, but {red-tapes} played the spoil-sport, {and} Sandip Ray went for a video-release in a movie-theatre in Kolkata.

It was supposed to be [televised] on 2nd May as[YEAR] it was Satyajit Ray's birthday, but [???] played the spoil-sport, [and so] Sandip Ray went for a video-release in a movie-theatre in Kolkata.

not-so-bald-eagle has mentioned red tapes in his comment, but as I have no idea what a [red tape] is, it matters little whether it is single or plural. What exactly are they please? I'm guessing you mean the press - the sort in England that use large headlines about celebrity 'news'? If so, then the word 'tabloid press' would be correct. However, I may have guessed wrong, so you will have to explain what you really mean.

Eventually all the names of the films will need to be italicised, but at this stage I think it preferable to work with the content before adjusting the GuideML, which can be done either by yourself, once this has been tidied up a bit more, or by the sub-editors.

One more important thing though. Have you considered the discussion regarding the previous authors work? A1002330 Satayit Ray - Filmmaker. You will need to follow the guidelines given in The Flea Market [ <./>writing-fleamarket</.> ]

Hi everybody,

I'm sure Bengal Tiger is pleased to get as many reviews as possible

Red tape refers to delays caused by officialdom. The term originally used was red-tapism (which I found unusual). Perhaps you'd like more reactions on that Bengal Tiger




http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=66215&dict=CALD (impossible - for me - to cut and paste)