Coffee drinking in Italy: the definitive rules.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The random tourist or Hitchhicker that is lucky enough to spend some time in Italy must remain conscious of certain social etiquettes regarding drinking coffee in Italy. The rules of a primitive coffee drinking countrys such as The United Kingdom can be easily synthesised as such:
In Great Britain.
Customer: May I have a coffee?
Vendor (the carbon lifeform, not the coffee machine) Sure here you go thats 1.50 please.
In Italy. ( Ill use english for expediency)
Young sunglasses wearing Rake: May I have a coffee?
Waistcoat wearing barrista or waiter: But of course! What would you like?...
The last question is perilous because a wrong answer for a hitchhicker could make the rest of their stay in Italy very umpleasant. The tourist will then look at the list and order a cappuccino, thinking its just the kinda drink you order in a piazza, my isnt that pidgeon fat, mind you back ho..
WRONG!!!
The rules are:
1) Check out the bar: is it touristy? If it is leave now! If by chance you are sitting down having a coffee you bill will be extortionate. Much cheaper to stand and order. Go down a alleyway and find a real bar! A coffee not too dissimilar and in many cases better will cost you only 3000 lit (30p). Only in the south is it worth the effort paying more. Local gangsters for aesthetic reasons will refuse to gun down someone sitting down outside having a coffee, but will think of nothing of gunning down those standing at the bar.
2) Dont ever order Cappuccino before 11am: Unless you really know the barman, are part of a free establishment where the rules are relaxed, or are sitting in a touristy caffe and are willing to be ripped off, do NOT do this. Its not that the Italians will not serve it (in some places they WILL not and you will be TOLD to have an espresso) Its just that for them it would be ridiculous. Cappuccino is a morning coffee on a freeday without work. Ordering it after 11 would be a kin to ordering say a bowl of frosties at midday. Its like breakfast at Mc Donalds.
3) Never ever admit to wanting a coffee due to a hangover: For Social reasons noone can understand getting drunk in puplic is shamefull in Italy. Admitting to it in a stylish and sophisticated enviroment like an Italian bar is a great offence to the owner. If you really need to shake that hangover drink loads of water. Coffee is not the answer! ( see the hangover cures page) But if you need something to wake you up have a liscio, a coffee so strong it could wake up a corpse.
4) Ordering Un caffe will give you a sticky tarry coffee which is perfect in the morning before work or after a meal with friends.
Order a liscio if you need something strong. The strength of an Italian coffee may not be palatable to someone of a more Anglo Saxon disposition, so if you need it watered down ask for un machiato (with a hint of milk or cream,) or un latte machiato (essentially milk with coffee in it, but you may modify the amount of coffee.)
Some readers may well think that they WILL order what the hell the like regardless of these rules. A word of warning: laws in Italy are laughable almost contemptible institutions. They are there to be broken. But social rules are sacred. "When In rome do as the Romans do" is still applicable today.Abiding by these rules will save you local scorn, save you money, embarrasment and the label of "barbarous tourist", which is given to inelegant and uncouth tourists.
You have been warned.
