h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I world likc a surving of spotted dick wuth some kidrey puddint please. And please let me swell the wine cock so I knou it's a gocd year.

Oops. Sorry. Turned off my spell checker. Let me try that again:

"I world like a serving of spotted duck with some kidney pudding please. And please let me smell the wine cork so I know it's a good yeast infection."

There. That's much better.

Do you want custard with that? Sniff. Wipes nose with back of hand.

Ooh! That looks good! Can I have some of that? [grabs Peta's arm and licks the back of Peta's hand] Mmmm!! Yummy!

Oi don't get fresh with me laddie. Raps Zachs knuckles with her ladle. So you do want custard or not? Come on I haven't got all day! Taps foot impatiently.

Sure, custard sounds nice, but only if you promise to rap my knuckles with your ladle again. Ooh! Hurts so good!

Right. Just for that I am going to put extra custard on your Spotted Dick.

Ahh... you're a waitress after my own appetite! There's a Peta. Extra coostard on that spotted dick.

Sorry. I have a cold.

Do you know what spotted dick actually is?