WHAT IS THE CAMPAIGN?

Well you may have heard of it, or you may have not! The T.A.C.T.S.C is a campaign to liberate the smilies from the cruelty and crawlty inflicted upon them by the.....beebeecee?

Have you ever wondered why the smileys' smiles look so false? Or why you get so many that are sad?

This is because they really are sad! The smileys that dont look false are the smileys that dare to show their true emotions, or even a complicated complex, such as the one has.

The reason they feel this way is (obviously) because they have no legs! (There are a few exceptions to that rule but I will cover that later.)

They used to have legs, but someone (the beebeecee?) thought they would not stay put if they had the ability to leave H2G2, so they chopped their legs off!

Now do you understand why they look so sad? That isn't all you see, they are also very badly maltreated and neglected by the beebeecee. (Cramped living conditions, bad food etc. etc.)

The life of an average Smiley.

Well first they are raided and they have their legs chopped off and then they are forced to sit at the end of our posts, smiling no matter how depressed they feel inside.

We kill them , , we make them into we put them in and send them off to strange and we also make them sit on broomsticks which must be very uncomfortable. (especially if you have no legs!)
And we bore them so much they go to

The History/Future of Smileys.

This is where I disclose the great beebeecee conspiracy, so don't be alarmed if they moderate it! (Some people don't like the truth!)

In the year 2020,when Television is seen as an antiquitated artifact of the past, and the world is run by people who look like the Borg, 7 of 9, from Star Trek Voyager, H2G2 is still running. This is because,when the great disaster of 2016 struck, the beebeecee lost everything except H2G2.(Which was protected by its many guardian angels.)

Having not enough money to set up a business venture that would make them rich again, they decided to pour all of their effort and resources into H2G2. Their aim was to attract as many people to the site as possible.

Now it was not long before one beebeecee mastermind realized that one of the most common sights on the site was the Smileys, so they made more of these until it got so complicated that no-one used them anymore. (Also the Smileys went on strike. They took industrial action in order to gain higher wages and larger living spaces.)

There was/is a difference in the smileys of the future. They had rights, freedom, love, happiness and legs. The beebeecee noticed that the smileys were no longer around and started to worry.(The Smileys hid every time a beebeecee official came on site.) They decided that the Smileys could come and go only so long as they had 'free will'. One way, said one official, of getting them to stay on site would be to enslave and chain them.This idea was met with great resistance because of the lack of subtlety that would damage the reputation of the beebeecee. In the end they decided to do something more straightforward but less obvious. Chop the Smileys' legs off!

Several smiley spies upon hearing this went straight to the Smiley main council and a great panic ensued as millions of frightened Smileys ran for their legs.

The beebeecee's plans were thwarted and they could think of no way to entice the Smileys back, meanwhile, the popularity of H2G2 was going downhill rapidly. Then one bright spark had the idea of using the time machine (The car from Back To The Future is real!) to go back in time and then chop off the Smileys legs, as a preventative measure. And so came about the great leg raid of 2020!

The smileys that DO have legs.

These Smileys have very exceptional circumstances that led to their keeping their legs.

Now this spider was a total accident, or so the beebeecee tells us! Apparently he was staying in a first class laboratory, I mean Hotel, when it would appear that he accidentally consumed the life changing chemicals that altered his appearance for ever! Other than constantly putting himself out of the window, flushing himself down the toilet and occasionally indulging himself in a suicidal tendancy to put himself in a situation that comprises of Mr. Spider and a large descending boot, Mr. Spider has adapted well to his new form.

Thereis another theory on how spider got to be a spider but that involves another beebeecee cospiracy!

This theory is that Mr.Spider was created by the beebeecee as a scapegoat for the missing legs, and it nearly worked! At one point even I thought Mr. Spider was the culprit and it took a lengthy interogation to find out otherwise. They (beebeecee) gave the Smiley that Mr. Spider was the anthropoidic chemicals that changed him. The idea was to take the blame off them by being able to say:" It wasn't us, it was him. Look how many legs he has!"

Now the plight of this Smiley is , in a way, worse than the one of Mr. Spider. (Mr. Spider is not faced with imminent death and can be expected to live out the rest of his days in a reasonably happy state.)

Chick Smiley still has legs! There is a reason for this and the reason is that it was granted those legs as a boon, because it was not really worth chopping them off when they are going to eat her at some point! Yes, they are going to eat her!!!

I found out this priceless piece of information after reading hints and clues on the Smiley main page and by capturing and interogating one of the beebeecee officials.(Don't worry i let him go, none the worse for wear!)

The wost thing about chicks life is that she is NEVER happy. This is because of the terrible things that the other Smileys, such as do to her in their jealousy, SHE HAS LEGS! Can you imagine being the envy of an entire race? Some one even broke her egg!

This Smiley has its legs simply because at the time of 'the great raid' he was asleep under a table. Either beebeecee has not yet discovered or they have decided that he cannot go anywhere anyway, he is ceaselessly sleeping!

Confidential:

There you have it! The reason why we (my alter ego and I) are campaigning. I want the beebeecee to give the Smileys back their legs.

Some of the Smileys have already confided in me that even if they have their legs back they will continue to live on H2G2 because they know no other home. Also, if the leglessness of the Smileys was undone, (Whoh, sober Smileys!) they would get more visits from relatives who were previously too scared to come near H2G2. This means a wider selection of all round happier Smileys.

The Smileys have assured me that we have their full permission and cooperation in this campaign and that we can continue to use them, as a way of 'getting the message across'.

I am attempting to avert a major catastrophe!

Thankyou for your support! -Zalisander, Muse of Mayhem and Campaigner for anti-crawlty to Smileys.

P.S. Another piece of information i have discovered is about the 'Smiley protection agency' protector of Smileys rights. This establishment does not exist as such. (It is probably the ame they gave to t.a.c.t.s.c When they got a 'sneak preview'of the future in their time machine!)