Dear, did you expect a delivery from a Mr. Reaper?
Created | Updated Jun 23, 2009
People know they are going to die.
Death is all around them, in the streets, the news and their families.
Yet, while they might have opinions about putting terminal patients out of their misery, modern burial business practices and just what
colour of marble would make a pleasing headstone, they rarely go to the trouble of putting any of this on paper.
Putting a stiff to rest in a hole in a glorified golf course can cost more than that individual spent on food during the last decade of their life. Why does it cost so much to bury someone? Why is even the price of cremation so exhorbitant that the loved ones are tempted not to tell anyone that the person is deceased?
What is it about cities and governments that they allow the mortuary industry almost free rein, to the point where some places have been found to have flung the bodies into the trees and reused the coffins for future victims? Yet when some Hindu wants to immolate grandpa on a bonfire as his religion permits, they throw a fit and say the pollution would be a risk. Considering the number of people who die in fires because of crappy building codes and inadequate alarms, I think that is a bit silly.
And what about the living dead? Those who have been so damaged by circumstance or medical idiocy that they will never truly function again? People and companies get sued for millions of ducats in order to provide for the pain and suffering of the people who have to look at these poor folk until they finally snuff it. Why can't some of that money be used to provide free burial for everyone? Obviously there is money out there to be used for more frivolous purposes,as idiots die and bequeath millions to cats, Civil War reenactment groups, and churches.
Start planning your death now. You never know how greatful your family will be that they don't have to do it for you at the last minute. And bargain with the ghouls who will plant you. Shop for your coffin and order your tombstone soon. Get a little enjoyment out of them before you are unable to see them. If you can get a group rate with others at your job or pub, then get in on it. The more, the merrier, the cheaper.