Wilderness Survival
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Once in your life, you may find that you have fallen out of a plane, drifted gently to the Earth in a parachute and lost yourself in a huge wilderness. Either that, or like many idiots out there, you simply were walking around in the woods and just got lost. Stupid you.
But, what you can do about it is live. Now, if you're stupid enough to have gotten lost in the first place, this may be difficult, but fear not! I can help you.
-Food-
The first thing you need to realize is that EVERYTHING is eatible. When walking through the woods, anything you see, you can eat. The problem is that some of it will make you turn odd colors and then you'll die. Which is bad. So think out everything before jamming it into your mouth. If you've seen an animal eating it, it might be OK (Remember that some animals can take poisons better then you. some berries, which taste good to them, will make your stomach explode; this is bad). Also remember: if you're close enough to be watching the animal eating this food, you're close enough to reach out and kill it. This means more food for you.
-Water-
Water is very important. Your body is made 70% of it. You're related to it. You need this stuff to live. You also need it to have water ballon fights, which many would argue is also very important to live. The great thing about the woods is that it's filled with water. Lots of it. The bad news is that because of humans, most of it is filled with junk from your local factory/nuclear power plant. This means that, unless you're very sure of the river/pond/puddle your standing in front of, don't drink. If your life depends on it, drink up. You can also take advantage of rain (rain has been known to happen every now and again). Rain is made of water. Its got some acid and stuff in it too, but nothing that will really hurt you. Not right now anyway. You can get lots of water in the morning by sucking it off of trees and other plants. On a large plant, a decent amount of morning dew will gather. If the leaf that the water is on looks good, down that too.
-Fire-
Everyone wonders how to make fire with simple tools. This, like all other wilderness survival things, is just plain common sense. Thousands of years ago, your ancestors (who had the IQ of about your present shoe size) figured it out. All you need is lots of heat, and stuff that bursts into flames when exposed to lots of heat (figuring this out yet?). Many people use two sticks and a piece of shoe string (you've seen this on TV and stuff, so I won't bother with a chart or picture). You could do that, or you could use a magnifying glass, or one of the hundreds of things that would work. Just use your head. This takes care of heat. Now all you need is fuel. Start small and work your way up. Start from the smallest piece of shreaded inner-tree bark to large pieces of wood that will keep the fire going all night.
-Shelter-
Ever play with building blocks? Ever build a snow fort? This is the exact same idea. The woods is filled with really neat junk that you can make a little home away from home with. If you're not very creative, just make a teepee like you see in all those John Wayne movies that we all love so much.
-Medical-
If you are hurt in a way that you can't get yourself out of the woods, hopefully you had another stupid person who got lost with you. This is the person who is going to get you help. Notice I didn't say "drag you out of the woods". That is because you shouldn't move when you're hurt. You might hurt yourself even more. This is double so if you hurt your back or neck or something along those lines. Just have your bud run around until he/she finds a rescue chopper or a road (most of the time you'll find one of these 100 feet from where you're lost). If it's a minor injury, be a man, slap a bandage on, and continue living the good life in the backwoods. Make sure that the injury is as clean as possible. You could die from a simple infection in the woods. If you didn't eat that leaf you sucked the dew off of, you can always use that too.
-Other-
Outdoor survival is really all common sense. If you encounter anything else, simply think it out. It's not like you have a lot of choice in the matter anyway. You never really wanted to get lost in the first place, remember? :)
But, what you can do about it is live. Now, if you're stupid enough to have gotten lost in the first place, this may be difficult, but fear not! I can help you.
-Food-
The first thing you need to realize is that EVERYTHING is eatible. When walking through the woods, anything you see, you can eat. The problem is that some of it will make you turn odd colors and then you'll die. Which is bad. So think out everything before jamming it into your mouth. If you've seen an animal eating it, it might be OK (Remember that some animals can take poisons better then you. some berries, which taste good to them, will make your stomach explode; this is bad). Also remember: if you're close enough to be watching the animal eating this food, you're close enough to reach out and kill it. This means more food for you.
-Water-
Water is very important. Your body is made 70% of it. You're related to it. You need this stuff to live. You also need it to have water ballon fights, which many would argue is also very important to live. The great thing about the woods is that it's filled with water. Lots of it. The bad news is that because of humans, most of it is filled with junk from your local factory/nuclear power plant. This means that, unless you're very sure of the river/pond/puddle your standing in front of, don't drink. If your life depends on it, drink up. You can also take advantage of rain (rain has been known to happen every now and again). Rain is made of water. Its got some acid and stuff in it too, but nothing that will really hurt you. Not right now anyway. You can get lots of water in the morning by sucking it off of trees and other plants. On a large plant, a decent amount of morning dew will gather. If the leaf that the water is on looks good, down that too.
-Fire-
Everyone wonders how to make fire with simple tools. This, like all other wilderness survival things, is just plain common sense. Thousands of years ago, your ancestors (who had the IQ of about your present shoe size) figured it out. All you need is lots of heat, and stuff that bursts into flames when exposed to lots of heat (figuring this out yet?). Many people use two sticks and a piece of shoe string (you've seen this on TV and stuff, so I won't bother with a chart or picture). You could do that, or you could use a magnifying glass, or one of the hundreds of things that would work. Just use your head. This takes care of heat. Now all you need is fuel. Start small and work your way up. Start from the smallest piece of shreaded inner-tree bark to large pieces of wood that will keep the fire going all night.
-Shelter-
Ever play with building blocks? Ever build a snow fort? This is the exact same idea. The woods is filled with really neat junk that you can make a little home away from home with. If you're not very creative, just make a teepee like you see in all those John Wayne movies that we all love so much.
-Medical-
If you are hurt in a way that you can't get yourself out of the woods, hopefully you had another stupid person who got lost with you. This is the person who is going to get you help. Notice I didn't say "drag you out of the woods". That is because you shouldn't move when you're hurt. You might hurt yourself even more. This is double so if you hurt your back or neck or something along those lines. Just have your bud run around until he/she finds a rescue chopper or a road (most of the time you'll find one of these 100 feet from where you're lost). If it's a minor injury, be a man, slap a bandage on, and continue living the good life in the backwoods. Make sure that the injury is as clean as possible. You could die from a simple infection in the woods. If you didn't eat that leaf you sucked the dew off of, you can always use that too.
-Other-
Outdoor survival is really all common sense. If you encounter anything else, simply think it out. It's not like you have a lot of choice in the matter anyway. You never really wanted to get lost in the first place, remember? :)
