Christmas Island

3 Conversations

"This is Australia, We're Allowed To Say Fxxk"
or The Inhabitants of an Island

Christmas Island is an external Australian Territory in the Indian Ocean, 1700 km northwest of Western Australia. It has an area of 135 square kilometres and a population of approximately 1300. And seeing as the casino/hotel just closed and it's cheaper to fly from Perth to London than to Christmas Island, you probably won't ever go there. However, if you are crazy enough to pay that much just to see some crabs, here's a guide to the people.

The people of Christmas Island are unique mix hailing from white Australian, Chinese and Malay backgrounds. Unfortunately, they don't actually mix much, but prefer to keep to themselves. Here's a few stereotypes I've managed gather about the people of CI:

Christmas Island has an administrative body which basically governs the island, of which the head Administrator and his wife are known in some circles as the king and queen (you'd be advised to keep that to yourself, actually). The king isn't half as interesting as the queen, whose bagging of CI and snobbery of those 'not on her level' are legendary.

"This place is island, already isolated, you can't make yourself isolated again! ... the Malay community want you to be closed but I tell my children 'Fxxx em'. This is Australia, you can say Fxxx ... I want you to finish the Fxxxxxg song!"

Nice 'face your fears' type people, just don't discuss politics with them

If you don't like kareoke you're out of the club

Most of the miners are pretty feral, but these two geniuses who were trying to crack on to my sister had managed to lose their jobs, and without enough money to get back to the mainland, they're stuck on the island. A lesson to us all.

It is absolutely essential, alcohol being tax-free (ie half price), that you get pxxxxd every single night. I mean it. That's why everybody has gout.

As Christmas Island is an independent Territory of Australia, it has its own little governing body, called "the administration." Now I find this weird. Add to this the Russian satellites to be launched from Christmas Island starting in 2003, and you have a full blown X-Files conspiracy-theory. Well at least in my little world. :) Maybe I should check around for lumps in peoples necks...

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