toddler philosophy
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
As a mother of a toddler, I go into battle everyday, but have found solace in the knowledge that thousands face a similar formidable opponent in their homes. In order to be fully armed I find the following information invaluable in understanding my toddler. It was sent to me by a fellow toddler parent:
1. If it is on, it must be taken off.
2.If it is folded it must be unfolded.
3.If it is liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
4.If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
5.If it is high, it must be low.
6.If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
7. If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
8. If it is closed, it must be opened.
9. If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.
10.If it is purple crayon, it must go on walls, TV, and computer screen.
11. If it is full, it is more interesting empty.
12. If it is dirty, it must be sat in.
13. If it has a flat surface, it must be banged.
14. If it is paper, it must be torn.
15. If it has buttons, they must be pressed, if it has volume it must be turned up high.
16. If it is Mummy, it must be hugged, or bitten, or both.
17. If it is not food, it must be eaten.
18. If it is dry, it must be wet (can be accomplished with bathwater, drool or toilet).
19. If it is pointy, it must be run at top speed towards electrical outlets.
Toddlers also have their own property laws:
1. If I like it, it's mine
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine
4. If I had it a minute ago, it's mine
5. If it looks just like mine, it's mine
6. If I saw it first, it's mine
7. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine
8. If I'm doing something or building something, all the pieces are mine
9.If it is broken, it is yours (no, the pieces are still mine)
1. If it is on, it must be taken off.
2.If it is folded it must be unfolded.
3.If it is liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
4.If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
5.If it is high, it must be low.
6.If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
7. If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
8. If it is closed, it must be opened.
9. If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.
10.If it is purple crayon, it must go on walls, TV, and computer screen.
11. If it is full, it is more interesting empty.
12. If it is dirty, it must be sat in.
13. If it has a flat surface, it must be banged.
14. If it is paper, it must be torn.
15. If it has buttons, they must be pressed, if it has volume it must be turned up high.
16. If it is Mummy, it must be hugged, or bitten, or both.
17. If it is not food, it must be eaten.
18. If it is dry, it must be wet (can be accomplished with bathwater, drool or toilet).
19. If it is pointy, it must be run at top speed towards electrical outlets.
Toddlers also have their own property laws:
1. If I like it, it's mine
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine
4. If I had it a minute ago, it's mine
5. If it looks just like mine, it's mine
6. If I saw it first, it's mine
7. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine
8. If I'm doing something or building something, all the pieces are mine
9.If it is broken, it is yours (no, the pieces are still mine)
