h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Respiratory System Of Dinosaurs - A50787615
Author: Atticus101 - U4912495

There is growing evidence that dinosaurs had a respiratory system much like modern birds. This entry looks at some of the evidence and how it contributes to our understanding of dinosaurs.

Interesting. Well written, especially for your first entry.

The only niggle I have, which you're more than welcome to disregard, is that this has more of the tone of a news article than a fact-based entry. The use of words like "new" means than in a few years this entry, while perhaps just as accurate, will seem out of context. Outdated, even. Ideally, we'd like to update entries when this happens, but it doesn't happen much in practice.

Really, that's such a minor complaint that I'm almost embarrassed at having bothered a new writer with it. Well done, Atticus

Hello, and Welcome to h2g2 Atticus, (there doesn't seem to be an ACE welcome on your Personal Space yet)

I love this article, and was especially intrigued by the description of bird respiration, and could find nothing on the subject in the EG.
It seemed to answer a related puzzle of mine - that is how do birds maintain their songs for such length, they never seem to draw breath. Perhaps I have found my answer - thank you Atticus

This is a good and interesting piece, but the news-like style needs sorting out, and the description of the bird's lungs isn't particularly clear - a reference to the one-way nature of air flow through the actual lungs might help.

Thanks everyone for your constructive comments. I think you are right and the newsy aspect of the piece does need to be corrected, which will be done very soon.

The explanation of how the birds respiratory system works is quite tricky and thats why I added a link to a site that uses diagrams to make it clear. Without diagrams I believe its pretty much impossible to put this across.

You make an interesting point about birds singing songs without Drawing breath, Lanzababy. This got me thinking, it would be great if dinosaurs, instead of that roar they are so often depicted as making in movies sang songs too! I can't stop thinking about an early morning chorus of dinosaurs songs now

Now you're making me thankful I only get roused by tuneful blackbirds

An interesting and well-written text. In my opinion, just about the right amount of information for the man in the street.
*dawdles off to go window-shopping*

Hi Atticus

I know nothing about dinosaur or avian physiology, so I'd expect others to review this from that angle. I think the structure is good, but I'd consider rewriting some repetitive phrases with alternative wording. This would soften it and make it easier to read.

For example, your first section (including the title) mentions 'The respiratory system of dinosaurs' four times.

Hope this helps!

Icy

Hello there

For a first Entry this is a great start. My only worry is with the layout. At present it appears as if it should be linked in with several different Entries on dinosaurs. So if it is to stand alone the beginning and end need to be looked at. You also appear to have tried hard to fit in subheaders (which should be headers) and would be better off writing this as one long Entry first without them, then when you are completely happy that your audience would feel at ease with it, then break it down.

Oh and I think two hundred would be better as 200

You are doing well...do keep it up

Opti

Author hasn't posted for the last couple of months, so what's the verdict on this entry? FM?

I agree It looked promising, but it's not quite there yet.

(I've got a list going to send off to the Eds - are you working on one as well? )

No, I was just going around poking in some dusty corners of PR. You go ahead and notify the Eds Mala

Ok, I'll put it on the list

For my , I think this gives a good outline of how bird lungs work, but that section could be expanded to make it clearer still.

In other words, I've never quite god bird lungs straight in my head before - after reading this Entry I do, sort of, but I had to read it through slowly a few times.

Gif

Yes, that's part of the reason I'm suggesting Flea Market - it needs more than a subbie to sort it out.

I have resurfaced after a long break!

I am glad people are reading this entry and I have been taking on board the comments made here. If it needs reworking then I will be happy to do that, or those kind people in the flea market can work their magic on it if you prefer.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8453053.stm

Hello Atticus - Just remembered your article, languishing here in the Flea Market, when I read the above news article.

I'll have a go at finishing this off for you.

Thanks Lanzababy, I appreciate that. If you need me to add or edit anything please let me know.

I'm in the mood for making more use of H2G2 so will be looking forward to adding more entries soon. I won't be lazy this time though and leave them in the hands of others to make them worthy of the guide.

Hi Atticus

The PR thread of the new entry is here: F48874?thread=7235495