h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a rather unpleasant spin to put on a discussion about a Saint, isn't it? While I agree that Christmas has been commercialised to the point where hardly anything remains of the original spirit, surely we can make a few rather complimentary observations about the character. For example the original Saint Nicholas legend was that he gave money to some girls as a dowry. Somehow the coins ended up in the girls' hosiery, hence the Christmas stocking. He was trying to be anonymous, hence the doing his deeds at night. Read the bible, Matthew Ch.6 V.1-4 for an explanation of why some people think this is a good idea.
As usual the original Middle Eastern myth has been hybridised with pagan Norse stories to give us the composite Santa Claus character we have today, with his sleigh, living in a wintry climate, etc.
But for a saint who gives gifts to children to become a paedophile in your eyes says more about yourselves.

SANTA ANAGRAM (SATAN} RED SUIT, NOT AFRAID OF FIRE, BOUNCES TOUNG CHILDREN UP AND DOWN ON HIS KNEE AND PROMISES THEM GIFTS THAT THEY DON'T GET. HE GENERALLY PERVERTS THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS. HE ALSO LIKES TO SURROUND HIMSELF WITH HORNED BEAST'S. HE'S ALSO GOT A PERVY LAUGH. ELVE'S ANAGRAM (EVELS) SANTA'S FRIENDS.

1) I take it from your capitals throughout that you feel strongly about this.
2) The satan-Santa anagram is pure coincidence. Santa (saint) is of Latin origin, Satan of Arabic.
3) Red (and white) clothing, so what?
4) Pervy laugh - your opinion only. Ho ho ho doesn't sound particularly perverted to me.
5) Promises children things they don't get? I thought the standard dialogue was 'What do you want for Christmas?' - this so that the onlooking parent can glean a few ideas - followed by 'If you are good then you will get what you wish for.'
6) There is nothing wrong with a child sitting on a grown-up's knee per se except in your sordid imagination.
7) Elves - see 2) above, except for a different etymology.
8) The further you take this, the stupider you make yourself look.

What significance do you read into the fact that your researcher number is an anagram of mine?

You don't say how he perverts the true meaning of Christmas or what the TMOC is.
What conclusions can one possibly draw from someone 'Not being afraid of fire'?
Jesus was born in a stable - plenty of horned beasts around there. I don't think that's very significant.
I suggest you read up on scientific method before you continue to call yourself a researcher.

Try a search on 'superstitious mice' and see what you come up with.

1. Take it from my capitals its not that important. Besides if you always use capitals you don't have to keep pressing caps lock.
2. How do you know its coincidence.
3. I never mentioned white bits.
4. You haven't heard the same Santa as I have.
5. So when they don't get what they wished for do they think that they have been bad.
6. True.
7. Elves (THE KING OF ROCK n ROLL).
8. Yes I do look stupid because I have just bitten off my own head.
9. Good observation about the number but its your number that's an anagram of mine.
10. I don't know the true meaning of Xmas as the Easter bunny wont tell me.
11. I looked up 'Superstitious mice' but all I came up with was 'Is spout mustier ice'.

Anoter 1. piss out mustie rice.

FATHER CHRISTMAS 'Jolly old saint nick' is a myth. He may of been a real person a long time ago. But the image we have today is a total fabrication made by coca cola. He is used to promote shops and chain stores. many of which charge children to see a fake Santa. Santa never buys the toys for the kids. Its the adults that have to buy the toys. quite often under privileged people throughout the world have to sacrifice essentials just so their kids aren't left out of the hype that they call Xmas
Thanks Santa or is it OLD NICK.

Yes, yes, yes. Sit down. Oh, you are sitting down. Didn't recoginese you without your head.
I know about the etymological coincidence of Santa and Satan because I have studied language for nearly 30 years. Phonetics is the study of sounds people make with their mouths. Semantics is the study of the meaning of words. A word is a concept you have in your head which you can represent by a sound you can make with your mouth. For example the English word 'car' means "a motor vehicle" the French word 'car' means "because" or "for". It's the same sound but with a different meaning because a different bunch of people agree to assign a different meaning to it. For heaven's sake they don't even use the same squiggles to represent the sound 'SATAN' in Arabic (they also say a kind of 'Sahhhhtaaaan' - to our 'Saytn').
I mentioned the fact that much of Santa Claus' clothing has white trimming to remind you of the Norse hybridisation of the original Eastern myth. Cold winter in Scandinavia - white fur-lined clothing.
So what have you heard? Did you have a particularly terrible Christmas where someone (e.g. your father) ruined the Christmas experience for you? Not everyone sounds as bitter as you. Most of us look back on Christmas with a great deal of happiness.
I think what you have to say about the multinational corporations, while it may contain a grain of truth, does not detract from the central message of Christmas. Every child knows it and you will too if you think back to when you were a child.
Don't be so bitter. Or at least share with us why you are so bitter.

ChilL ouT maN.iM noT bitteR. Can,T yoU telL thaT it'S alL a winD uP ,A Game, a Toy WITh woRDS, JusT SOMe Fun. 'WoopS THERE GOEs a kiDNey' yoU goT A BiT PRotECTive OveR ChrIss. IHopE THAt YoUr not tOo Seriouse (S*#*T MY SplEENs juSTexPlodeD byE).
[email protected]

So what is H2G2 all about? Do we want our entry to read 'Mostly Harmless' or do we have a few contributions to make to the galaxy? It would be very easy to say ... 'The entire planet is a bunch of crap' if we had a really negative attitude to the whole thing, or we could say 'these froods have several really hoopy religions and cosmologies which make you feel real good your whole life through and not in the slightest bit frightened about dying. Some of the best religions in the entire galaxy.' No, I don't think Saint Nicholas is anything to do with Old Nick. Not unless you want him to be ....... and that would only be if you needed him to be. So why would that be?

Sorry mate you've lost me

The idea of H2G2 is to gather together the fascinating and perhaps sometimes funny ideas of all of us researchers. So if you have something to say which falls into this category, then do so, preferably without trying to sound too much like Douglas Adams. However, your original idea of Santa Claus being a child molesting disguised Satan was not in this category. When criticised, you A) changed tack by saying that he was a symbol of the commercialisation of Christmas by the likes of Coca Cola B) Said the whole thing was just a laugh, a play on words. Well, in my opinion H2G2 isn't the place for that.

Chill out it seems to have upset you. You shouldn't take things to heart like you do. People end up suffering from things such as stress just by letting the little unimportaint thing in life worry them. Sit back breath deeply and relax. have a nice cup of tea and read your e-mail. you will soon feel a lot better. If that dont work go see a doctor for some prozaks. The world wont be a better place but you wont care.

Who is Douglas Adams and do you dislike him. Because you make him sound like a bit of an idiot. I don't know if he is or not but I would very much like to here his opinion of you. You are probably a very nice guy. And I for one would never slag you off because I don't know you. And I could not form opinion of anybody that I don't know. But on the other hand it seems that you have formed an opinion of me just because you believe in Santa and I don't. However R2G2 is the place to Wright our ideas, thoughts and theories. 'Not all serious' Because if it was a place for just serious things it would be very boring and no one would use it or contribute to it. As to having a negative attitude there is nothing more negative than analysing everything you read. Because if you do your likely to miss all the punch lines and not have a sense of humour. If you didn't have a sense of humour then in your own words 'the whole planet is a bunch of crap' but I don't think that it is. I think that this planet is a good place to live. But that's because I've got a good sense of Humber. And also because contrary to belief I've' never lived on any other planet so I don't know the difference. IM glad that I can take things with a pinch of salt and that I can also see the funny side of serious things. It stops me worrying about things that most people worry about. To answer your question you asked earlier, I have very good Christmases I have two children and they have very good Christmases too. My father never ruined my Christmases nor did anyone else. IM not bitter about Christmas or any other Christian festival. IM not opposed to any other religion or anyone's beliefs. But I am personally opposed to lying to children as to adults. I think that everybody has the right to the truth. I know what I have wrote on this subject earlier but it was written in fun. If some people found it offensive it was not meant that way not to anyone who is a real person anyway. You obviously found it offensive but that's your problem not mine. I can't try to please everybody all the time. Whatever I say I know ill probably offend some people, as you know because you probably offend people on regular backs. I don't because I have better thing to do with my time. I hope I have straightened out a few of your queries for you and helped you to a happier existence with fewer worries about other people's upbringings. Sorry if you didn't laugh or even if you cant laugh. Ill try to be a bit more basic in my humour next time. Maybe ill just sticks to old knock knock jokes but if I did that I would almost certainly offend doorbell salesmen or saleswomen. Anyway if it helps you may be sarcastic to me, as it doesn't bother me. Keep well and may the farce be with you. Boomshanka Peace and respect from the artist formally known as 48571(Steve).

Sorry, I posted my last reply before I read your polite and friendly e-mail. I don't agree with everything you say (especially the point about offensive people being the ones with the problem, so not to worry - "Don't worry, Miss Rape-Victim, it's your assailant who has the problem."), but we now seem to have drifted off the original point so this is my last word on the subject.

GOOD

[Remember The Magic]-Brian McKnight

Can you remember
Back to a simpler time
Back to the watercolor days
That still runs through your mind

Oh, I remember just my old friend and me
Runnin’ through an open field
The way it used to be

The feeling that our hearts could take wings
We could live out all our dreams
The journey there was never far away

But like a dream come true
That’s still inside of you
The secret of tomorrow is
To live your dreams today

Remember the night
Remember the feeling
Remember the magic
In our lives

You opened up my eyes
To a new world revealing
So remember the magic
Just remember the magic
One more time
Oh, remember

Do you remember
The way it used to feel
When love was only make-believe
And fairy tales were real

Oh, I remember
You were with me once again
Free to live our fantasies
It never has to end

The feeling that our hearts would just take wings
We could live a world of dreams
Together we could sail against the wind
And now I know where to begin
How to find it all again
From now on until forever

Remember the time
Remember the feeling
Remember the magic
In your eyes

You opened up my heart
And you gave life new meaning
So remember the feeling
Just remember the magic
One more time
One more time
Remember the magic