Police
Created | Updated Apr 14, 2002
Also known as constables, officers, or cops. There is at times a need by society (or at least the people with money within
that society) for a level of protection somewhat less violent in response than that of the armed forces, who are likely to
go around shooting someone's saintly grandmother when called upon to arrest a man for jay-walking. This is where the
police come in. They guard the city/town/county /what-have-you from hooligans and thieves who would disrupt the social
order. This includes drunks. Their usual modi opporandorum (modes of operating for all of us who are not up on our
Latin) is to either cruise the city in cars, waiting for reports of maleficence to come in via radio, or to patrol a set area on
foot, alert for criminal activity. Police attire varies from area to area, though they appear to have some affinity for the
color blue, big sticks, and in America guns and jelly doughnuts. As in all professions, there are good cops and bad cops,
though ones definition of what makes a "good" cop varies from situation to situation. If you want a cop to be nice to
you, agree with whatever he or she says, and address him or her as "sir", "officer" or "your royal majesty". Do not call
them pigs, which tends to rile them up a bit, or ask them questions about their parentage . If intoxicated, or otherwise
likely to be involved in illegal anti-social activities, avoid the police like the plague. A warning- they are always around
when you wish to avoid them, and never there when you need them.
that society) for a level of protection somewhat less violent in response than that of the armed forces, who are likely to
go around shooting someone's saintly grandmother when called upon to arrest a man for jay-walking. This is where the
police come in. They guard the city/town/county /what-have-you from hooligans and thieves who would disrupt the social
order. This includes drunks. Their usual modi opporandorum (modes of operating for all of us who are not up on our
Latin) is to either cruise the city in cars, waiting for reports of maleficence to come in via radio, or to patrol a set area on
foot, alert for criminal activity. Police attire varies from area to area, though they appear to have some affinity for the
color blue, big sticks, and in America guns and jelly doughnuts. As in all professions, there are good cops and bad cops,
though ones definition of what makes a "good" cop varies from situation to situation. If you want a cop to be nice to
you, agree with whatever he or she says, and address him or her as "sir", "officer" or "your royal majesty". Do not call
them pigs, which tends to rile them up a bit, or ask them questions about their parentage . If intoxicated, or otherwise
likely to be involved in illegal anti-social activities, avoid the police like the plague. A warning- they are always around
when you wish to avoid them, and never there when you need them.
